The truth... SUCKS

I am hopeless in relationships. In my life, I have never had a monogomous relationship and indeed found it incredibly hard to sustain even an open relationship. More often than not, I shun the whole experience when I realise I'd rather end it all and remain friends than lose this person forever.

I have several different types. For either sex. But when it comes to guys, my ultimate prime time is the skinny-legged skater boy with a badass sense of humour and a chilled but adventurous spirit. These guys never like me. Well, one New Yorker did that time a few years back while on a business trip, but that never amounted to anything.

Before I left London, I met a guy who strangely enuf matched this criteria and even more strangely seemed to reciprocate my feelings. In an utterly unbelievable circumstance. I was stunned, still am stunned, that I ever felt this reaction from a guy like this but I rolled with it.

Fast forward several months, and several trashy nights out (that's the only night there is with us) and I have several positive hook-ups under my belt as well as some very encouraging remarks to feel pretty much sorted. But everyone can be, and often is, proven wrong.

Last night, this happened to me. As pushy as I get with a few beers under the belt, I finally managed to speak my mind (wasn't much of a push) and found out... he's not interested. I was heartbroken. Drunk and heartbroken. And anyone that knows me knows this ain't a good combo. But, luckily, I seem to be growing up and managed to extract myself from the situation, only wake up a few of my friends needing a shoulder to lean on and write a reasonably reasonable reasoning to said boy the next day.

This reasoning was answered promptly in a sweet manner that comes as no surprise, and I am a little more comfortable with things. Mainly that my initial suspicions of his feelings were not entirely unjust and I'm not completely deluded. Well, I'm a little deluded but not to do with this. I think.

Anyway, so the rollercoaster continues... I am now in Bratislava, via a hideous plane ride to Budapest at ridiculous o'clock which I almost vomited on (shiezer I almost said 'also vomited' there!!), and ready-ish to teach a class of 9-10 year olds at school tomorrow. Mum would be so proud.