Tightass cruise ships strike again

What a day. I rose just after 6am for a 7am start, actually enjoyed the early morning walk to work as the sun wasn't yet burning, and got to work getting every single available horse caught and saddled for the big day ahead. Was nice not to be sweating when I got to work - nicely, the breeze had returned although I could tell it was gonna be a sunny one.

The full set of guides - 5 in total - were on board for this day, so it was amazing to see how little got done in the first hours of the day. At one point I actually walked up to them all and said, "OK guys, so we have 5 guides here and no work being done... you think we should maybe get a crack on? Yep, that means stop rolling, put the spliff down, we have actual work to do." To which one pointed to his watch and the others just looked at me... yep, the boss definitely asked you to come in extra early so you can spend crucial time rolling joints.

Then, when we'd saddled the horses (and before I actually counted and realised they'd not saddled enuf), they get into their usual inane conversation that I so easily tune out of - mainly because I can't really understand their English when they joke amongst themselves, but also because it is just bullshit they speak. I had to physically extract myself from their circle just to get some breathing space. They asked what was wrong - I didn't mess about, I told them they talked too much shit and they're welcome to do that, but I don't need to be a part of it. Different cultures n all... more like different maturity levels. I really can't relate to these people sometimes.

We had 27 guests expected in the first hour and not much less for the hours to follow. I took 2 lots of cruise ship rides - I specify them because they are a specific route with specific guidelines which, if not followed, could potentially land us in hot legal water with the ships should something go awry. They are the most boring of rides, walking at snail's pace on the simplest of tracks and trying to buy time by taking photos on vantage points and talking about the island.

So after my 2 rides - and NO tips from anyone - I was a bit peeved. Do these people think we work on a king's wage??* I didn't think I was that bad a guide but apparently so. I wonder if they realise how offensive it is not to give anything on an island where that clearly is the culture (there are even signs saying, "Did you enjoy your ride? Then kiss your horse and tip your guide"). Later when I asked I, he said he didn't get anything either. Then another guide got $35. Frustrating.

Lunch never materialised either for me... I got a drink on the house but didn't have time to eat so I was doubly annoyed. Anyone that knows me knows how I get if I'm hungry. Well, that's normal isn't it?? So on top of that, things were disorganised at times and I didn't want to even enter into the debate most of the time, just stood there waiting for a resolve. Would love to know this place inside out so I could manage them all, would make it so much easier.

Then finally a say of sunlight - a private ride. I could distance myself from the darned tightass cruise rides, and most probably get a tip (finally). That ray of sunlight quite literally disappeared halfway through the ride, though, as we the predicted rain showers hit - and hit hard. I laughed it off, saying that no rain ever lasted more than 5 mins in the Caribbean. Yeah, that was a bad call. 15 mins later the rain still persisted, and we were soaked to the bone. Made going fast a little harder, but I let them run a little on the roads that drained off quickly.

They were a lovely, young American couple (and probably my best-looking yet), and I was slightly disappointed when I walked away with just thank-yous. Oh well, it was just one of those days, I said to myself. But when I was walking along a bit later, the guy called out to me and came up to give me a tip, saying I was an awesome guide. That was nice. Then I got let off work an hour early. And given my late lunch for free. Things were looking up.

Rode Spirit, the boss wife's horse, who was a good horse but a bit skittish and scared shitless of cows (always a good look when the guide is on a crazy horse), but was glad to get a go on him at all. The other guides have worked here for years and never been allowed on his back *insert evil laugh here*

There is a weird guy that wanders around Seaside that I just learnt was my boss' cousin (lucky I didn't say anything). Every time he sees me, he says I'm beautiful and today when I mentioned that he was repeating himself, he said he was just waiting for a comment back. I told him none was coming, and he rightly guessed that I was taken. But even if I wasn't... would not go for a crack addict. And someone who thinks it's OK to randomly stroke my arm. Shudder.

Writing this, I'm sitting in my towel with no motivation whatsoever to get in the shower, cook dinner or do anything really at all... My body is tired and I just want to sleep for 12 hours but I know the earlier I go to bed the earlier I wake up and stare at the ceiling, listening to the cocks crow and mozzies buzz around my head. Did I mention how much I love my lonely nights here?

*Later I learnt that the cruise ship charges over $100 for this simple horse ride if people book directly through them. No WONDER people don't wanna give us tips!! What a wrought!