Nightclubbing St Maarten style

This Saturday night was my first real attempt at going nightclubbing in St Maarten, and it was an interesting experience, so I thought it deserving of a blog all of its own.

Firstly, my companions - J, from work, and his brother Ju, and a random girl we picked up in their hotel room who looked like Estelle, A. J and I got a lift to the hotel room with a car they'd lent from their aunty or something, and I expressly told them there would be no drunk driving around me tonight. I honed my eyes to count their beers.

We waited seemingly FOREVER at the hotel room, passing time by looking at the lovely view at Pelican bay and the pimpin' hotel swimming pool, and watching Will Smith looking weirdly old in Seven Pounds (was sooo lost coming in halfway through that film). This did nothing for my tiredness. What were we waiting for?? Ju to get ready! Geez, you'd think he had a vagina or something.

When at last we made it out the door, Ju looking only slightly better than the hour before and his brother in matching cap, t-shirt and shoes (too funny), we headed to Tantra, the biggest club on the island. Got Maccas on the way, which took forever since there was a blackout mid-order. And they're generally just slow here. Snagged the last park in the carpark because our car was the only non-SUV roaming spaces and the exceedingly bad drivers here also can't park properly.

At one point I remarked to the guys that the black people on this island were so stereotypically black. Not sure if that was racist but I stand by it. I suppose most white people are stereotypically white. But that's why stereotypes exist, I guess. It's just that everyone here likes big cars, loud (R&B, hip-hop and reggae) music, guys in clothes 10x too big and girls in clothes 10x too small, and a big, ol' booty.

At Tantra J was refused entry because he was in trackpants (fair enuf in my opinion, but apparently only cos it was an "adults" night - think we dodged a bullet there!). So we went next to the impeccably named Soggy Dollar and walked in to a snow storm - literally everything was white! And so it was we crashed the "White Temptation" Heineken sponsored party. Lucky I wore my purple dress. Blended right in there.

As I stood by the bar waiting for the guys to get our drinks (hey, they insisted!), I surveyed the room... mostly white people, I would guess Dutch at their height and blonde prevalence, dressed in a range of white attire from slutty, high school lycra things to flowing maxi dresses. But most of it was tacky. My favourite was the "lady" in the white mesh dress with just bra and panties to hide her dignity. The man with the gropey arms on the dancefloor was so proud of his catch.

There were some promo girls (a far cry from Sydney standards) taking photos of people in white for Heineken - obviously we were ignored due to our coloured wardrobe - and some odd characters appearing now n then, including a guy who looked to me more like a cartoon character than actual human being.

It was around this time I realised this was the first time I'd been clubbing as a taken woman, without my boy with me. So this is what it is like to view it from the outside... The Mating Game. A flick of the hair, a flash of a smile, a cheeky giggle... I saw it all. Men with antlers practically bristling from their craniums, stomping the ground and circling their prey. The woman looking casually over his shoulder for the next, better stag.

I had a dance with J, while his bro pulled the moves on A. Good on him, they're not the tallest of families so I can imagine he finds it difficult to pick up. And she was lovely, so it was all good in my eyes! When we'd sweated sufficiently in the open night air (the club is on the water's edge), we sat down for a breather - no sooner had we noticed our Dutch intern T dancing away with the other Dutch interns that congregate at such nightspots on the island. Met some of his friends who said I had to come out and enjoy myself more with them, feeling sorry that I was bound to my room in fear of being constantly targeted.

The fatigue that unsettled me earlier was shaken after a few beers and I was starting to enjoy myself. Thoughts of my boy a little harder to shake (not that I wanted to, really!)... at one point I even daydreamed into thinking the empty couch next to me was his seat and he'd be returning from the toilet at any moment. That made me a little sad when I woke up to myself. Is it going to be like this the whole time I live here?

We decided to go when it was clear Ju was gonna pick up, and with J in the driver's seat (I said I would drive over Ju, who'd had a few more beers than I'd have liked, but then reconsidered when I realised I probably wasn't right to drive either!) we dropped the couple to the hotel room for some private time and J took me home. We chatted to kill time then I called it a night and he had to amuse himself for another hour or so before the hotel room was free again. Takes me right back to high school, that does.