Sweaty sweaty sweatybox

I'm pretty sure I sweated more than my entire body weight today. As usual for a Saturday, we were pretty busy for the first half of the day but once lunch hit, the rides died down. Cruises only land here for the day so the guests have a limited window of opportunity for activities like horseriding. But what made it hard was the sheer humidity. No matter what I was doing - walking, brushing horses, sitting down - I sweated. My skin was constantly wet. And I can't even count how many times I wiped my face on my t-shirt sleeve. Hideous.

Had a couple of rides, got some half-decent tips (I'm learning cruise ship people are either tight or think they've spent more than enuf on the cruise and all its related activities - forgetting completely that we have nothing to do with the cruise)... and sweated. Even my boss said this kind of weather was unusually for this time of year.

I was almost drained of energy by the day's end, but it was not over yet. I found a horse acted strange and suspected it of colic, so called the boss up to have a look. He gave her some shots and we kept her on all 4 feet, and the we decided to give tetanus shots to every horse, which at a glance is over 40. So we're going out, catching each one by one, injecting the shot, marking off the list... and sweating. I swear no one sweated quite like me. I felt like a witch melting into my skin.

My day actually ended with a postponed lesson with my female boss, A, the French lady (rumoured to be a lesbian, like it makes any difference to my life) and taught by my male boss, R. I rode Seductor again, who I learnt tonight was only about 3, and things did not go well.

I didn't fall off or anything but compared to last week's lesson - the best ever for Seductor according to R - he was a mess. Now I don't like to blame him for everything, obviously my riding wasn't that great either, but he was just not all there tonight. My hands and joints burnt a little after it was all over, and I apologised for riding badly but was warded off - "It wasn't you, he was all over the place tonight, don't worry shit happens." Well, I still felt annoyed like I hadn't done my best. I dunno, I guess I'm just that kind of person!

Worst of all, this was the lesson J decided to watch so I know I'm not gonna hear the end of it. Great that I'd organised to go out with him for his brother's belated birthday that same night... Not impressed. With any of it. Sweaty, tired and frustrated. He better not start.

Had a shower and decided that, it being the first Saturday night I actually planned on having a big night out - well, I told them I am going home at 12 because otherwise I turn into a pumpkin and can't work tomorrow - I shaved. What a mission. Love living with no one to impress. Except when the hard yakka comes in to look like a lady. Urgh.

Writing this, I'm waiting for my dinner to cool and already the sirens are starting for a Saturday evening. These people really have no sense of responsibility for their lives... I dunno, I could never live here I don't think. It's just like, these little lottery booths dotted about the place, in the most obscure of back streets even... I asked A about them, and she quite rightly observed (as a Dutch woman) that people just want to easy way around here. That sit and hope that they'll hit big one day, instead of actually working towards it and making their own success.

Not that I have that much responsibility for my life. I suppose I'm one of the biggest culprits. What the hell am I doing? Running all over the globe, taking random opportunity, one after the other? Yeah, really responsible behaviour. I can just hear my dad's voice in my ear - "What about your longterm career, furthering your education? I didn't shell out that many thousands for you to just galavant around the world at your fancy, asking me for handouts when your money runs dry."

Now that last part was poetic licence, but it something he fully believes and I flat-out refute. Next Christmas and birthday, I'm asking for nothing. Just his acceptance. If he can't give me that... well, merry Christmas to me.