Sensitive little me

Another day of work, almost a week since I had my last day off. I wasn't really tired when I got up, I was actually already awake waiting for my alarm as the night was quite peaceful and comfortable. Still can't wait til I wake up next to a certain someone though...

I knew the day wouldn't be too busy, so I was happy when there were a couple of rides already booked and we ended up having a few more walk-ins. My first ride was late not because of the morning showers but because they came from the cruise ship and were on cruise ship time, or something. Anyway, they'd booked the ride last May so they weren't going to let a slight tropical shower stop them.

They were a nice, easygoing couple from New Jersey, as most of my rides seem to have been this week. Last week it was Canada, this week it's NY/New Jersey! Good for me, though, as they pretty much always give me something at the end. This ride enjoyed themselves, the wife said it was the best they'd been on ever and she was so relaxed, and they gave me $8. OK. Better than nothing, as they say. I just hope they do actually write us up on TripAdvisor like they promised (maybe mention my name...??).

My second ride was just one hour, what I can assume was a grandma and granddaughter or maybe just an older mum?? But they were NYers, also nice, bit more effort to get warmed up but they ended up giving me a decent tip so not complaints here. It's nice that we've got the foal and the baby rabbits (although one of them fell out of its box and was half eaten in the night by a mongoose or something through the mesh flooring in the cage - grooooooooooss) to show them too.

J and i had a bit of a "Day" today, him pointing out a couple of things I did wrong in my work. Now I am the first to admit I am not perfect at my job, but for some reason the way J explains my errors makes me feel like I am 2 ft tall. I got angry at him and stormed off the second time it happened, and almost exploded in front of the rest of the staff before I realised there was a guest waiting for a ride nearby, Probably a good thing, as it allowed me to take lunch and calm down, managing to talk myself into explaining my point of view to him.

That I did, later in the afternoon, and for some reason almost cried during the process. The girls at work tell me I need cock - hell knows what caused my behaviour. Maybe I do just need to get laid.

Didn't make a helluva lot of tips today, in fact more than double on my 1-hour ride than my first 2-hour. But it all adds up. It wasn't the greatest week of tips in my history here, to be honest, I wonder if the new year has left people skint but at the same time every time I ask my co-workers if they made tips, they seem to make more than me. I wonder, also, if my white skin works against me sometimes... like I'm not the "real" Caribbean experience. Hmmm...

There were no rides much after lunchtime so we got to finish right on time, me taking a couple of beers and watching the sun set behind a masquerade of clouds, streaking above and below its mystery... what a beautiful scene to capture with my eyes. My camera didn't do it justice.

Back at home, I had a few beers in celebration of the fact I'd finally get a day off - a week since my last one - and catch up with E to explore the French side. Got in the mood to talk to my boy and ended up using all my credit doing so... as did he, stressing about his visa, calling me back and talking about it til the phone cut off. I hope he managed to find some more credit and get through to the bastards at the visa bureau. I already told him I'd travel to whatever outside country he chooses if he doesn't get his visa, so that's all good. I just hope he gets it for ease sake.

I reminded him it was 3 weeks til my return. His response: "Yes, 3 weeks til your surprise... I mean your return." Don't think I didn't hear that....................

Just don't vomit in the water

My hangover day began at first light, when I woke to a full bladder and dry mouth. What a day this is going to be. Too much sun yesterday from not wearing my hat (I look better on camera without it) and too much alcohol after work (that early finish got me so excited!) was not a combination.

I got to work, but just wanted to crawl back into bed. Or nestle myself between some saddle blankets, hiding out the back. But alas, twas not to be. Instead, I was fighting to put drops into stubborn horses' eyes, traipsing around with a muddy hose, trying to dodge the dust from the horses I brushed and sneezing from the hay flying about when I raked and swept in the rising wind. Fun times.

The pounding in my head did not go away, in fact it got worse as the day wore on no matter how much water I drank. On one of my rides, I was going through the water and actually wanted to throw up from the nausea. Would NOT have been a good look (and no one would have bought the DVD of photos then!).

My first ride didn't tip me much, but my second made it for me. Funnily enuf, it was the woman who fell off at the start from a spook at the stable and her sister that tipped me the most. $40! And the other lady tipped me $10. That at least made my headache more bearable. Also the painkiller I took, which eventually dissipated the throbbing.

The bastard taxi driver no longer comes into the nature park, instead has started telling his guests that they won't have time to have a drink or buy the photo DVD because they were running late. I just couldn't believe it. My boss was again on the phone to his boss, telling him that this was not on. The office manager went out to give him a piece of her mind... I stayed out of it. I'd be surprised if the driver kept his job after all this, as the taxi company could well lose the contract with the cruise ship (since people complained after yesterday). I know my boss would have thrown me on his ass already if it was us getting complained about. The cruise ships are big business.

Pimienta is running around now all crazy like, she is so adorable and seems fighting fit. The guests all love her too. There is also a bunch of baby rabbits (batch? gaggle? what do you call them?), so small they're just little hairless moles at the moment. Gross but kinda cute.

Had one ride which didn't tip, but that was to be expected - they were from the activity desk we do the most business with. The two girls were young and nice, one Dutch and one from the island. The islander was a first-time rider, but they both did well and seemed to enjoy themselves. Also told me I'd no doubt be able to do the Rhino (or their version of it, Rock n Roll) for free because I work here. Woot woot! I'm calling up tomorrow.

Was meant to have Thursday (tomorrow) off, but D has hurt his hand and the rasta guide is busy so I have to work AGAIN. Friday will be my day off, a week since my last day off. I know it doesn't sound that hard, but at this time of year I like my days off. Not that I do much resting on them, but at least I don't have to wake up to an alarm. This time, though, the change in plans meant I had to cancel on E, who I've been trying to catch up with for a week now since she landed back in SXM. Oh well, fingers crossed something can happen on Friday!.

Spoke with my boy today as he's back in the land of mobile reception, and he's still waiting on confirmation of his second-year Australian visa. It's scary times. I'm crossing everything still and it's getting sore. But I'll be sore if it means I have him for another year at home.

Early finish excitement beers

It was a jam-packed first half of the day today, with cruise ship rides back-to-back until at least 1pm and then whatever else books for the day. I was due in at 7am, in the hope that I'd be finished by 3pm and outta there! If the internet hadn't corrected itself by now, I'd have to go to Pineapple Pete's again and then maybe it'd be another beer, beer, pizza, beer expedition like last night. Bad girl, bad bad girl.

I was in an unusually cheery mood for the morning, singing away and making jokes with D and I. Both guides actually remarked at how happy I was. I don't actually know why, I guess I thought I'd be finished early and then head to Grand Cass for some nighttime festivities.

I'd been warned the day before that someone from the cruise ships was coming to film a promo for our riding excursion, but I kinda forgot. As it was, I wore a crisp new shirt to work and looked reasonably presentable. Changed my hair to a high ponytail for the camera, though. And didn't wear my ugly camo hat. Hey, I'll sacrifice one day in the sun if I'm gonna be immortalised looking half decent on this job!

The camera man could ride, so I found him waiting on hills for us to walk past, weaving in and out of my ride (much to my tourists' annoyance), crouching on the beach and even hiding in the bushes to get a good shot. Kinda snuck up on me sometimes!

At one point, I had to give I a talking-to as he pulled me up on not noticing a bit had fallen out of the horse's mouth on the ride - in front of the tourists! Way to make me look incompetent and the business look dodgy! I had to explain that if he wanted to speak to me about it, don't do it in front of the guests. Sure, we all make mistakes but it's really not a good look to bring it up for them, who would not have otherwise noticed. That put him in a mood all day, as he has a little-boy crush on me, and he was kicking himself that he made me angry.

The worst thing was, when that happened I was already annoyed because an asshole taxi driver was hustling the guests away and not letting them even buy the photos that N was taking. It's her bread n butter, and he wasn't even going to stay long enuf for one man to finish his DVD burning. Prick! She started yelling at him but I interjected, saying the DVD was going to be burnt and he was going to wait. Sternly. It was a mild scene but I had to interject or N would have erupted into an emotional fit. As it was, the guy tried it again later and she burst into tears. The boss told me not to react like that and I tried to explain. It was all so spur of the moment.

Then at the start of my last ride one horse decided to just stop at the back, the young boy at the front starting freaking about his horse, the cheeky colt of one of my other riders started trying to suckle at her mum AND my horse tried to make a break for it when I jumped down to sort out the situation. Not enuf hands, people!!! Somehow I managed to calm it down, luckily N was on hand to help, and just avoided brain damage from a kick from the bitch of a colt. Grrr.

It was around this time, when I walked up to the stables and readied myself for my third ride, that i wanted the day to end. Fast. I had no idea what time it was or how many more rides I had to do, but I just wanted outta there. The rides had tipped me, not everyone and not much, but something. And that's better than nothing. It was all just stressful for me - the camera man, the taxi driver, N, my boss, I... Stress. And who gets stressed in the Caribbean??

In the end, I did 3 rides back-to-back, just praying that my boss would let me off at 3pm like I'd requested. After my last ride, he told me I just had to get the horses and cows in (easier said than done!) and I could clock off. It was only 1:45pm - surely that's enuf time??

I took Chico, my little black Caribbean baby, out to keep training him and he did an awesome job. I found the cows and rounded them into their pen, no dramas (even had Chico nudging the little calf along with his nose!) and then the horses were even easier. Most of them were waiting by the gate to come inside. So I was finished well before 3 - super!

THEN the internet decided to work properly again - Facebook and Gmail were accessible!! Of course I had to celebrate all this good fortune with a beer... or 2.... or 5. Oops. I think S was punching holes in the bottom of the bottles. Damn you and your tasty yeast!! Didn't knock me about, though, and after I'd fooled around on the net for a while I went home to get ready to go to Grand Cass with N and her mum and daughter.

Tried to call her to no answer so couldn't make dinner, as she would no doubt call when I was halfway through and tell me she's on the way. When she did call, she said her mum and daughter didn't want to go anymore so I was out of a lift and out of time to organise a new one. Ho hum. N invited to her house for dinner anyway, so she picked me up and we ate and drank wine, before nipping to La Bamba for a couple of drinks.

La Bamba was packed, as usual for Tuesday salsa, and I ran into L smoking by the ganja dealer's car I met the first time I went to La Bamba all those months ago. My, how time flies. L must have been really stoned or drunk or both, cos he had this weird look in his eyes and it kinda felt like he was looking me up and down, which is not like him. I couldn't wait to get away. To the bar!!

Was actually quite drunk when I got home, a bit silly when I needed to be fresh for work the next day. It is much harder dealing with hangovers with this heat, unpredictable animals, pungent faecal aromas and of course, tourists. I don't know what's the worst. But I was about to find out...

All in the ass-end of the day

We saddled half the horses we caught, to save trouble by the end of the day - if only we knew what kind of end day we'd have!

It was a Monday, and with no cruise ship rides I expected it to be a bit slower. I didn't expect to be SO slow. With not one ride booked for the day, J and I were confined to the daily chores at an agonisingly slow pace, just to kill time. I think at one point I even fell asleep in the tack room.

At lunchtime, I took the opportunity - since the net still wasn't working properly - to go bareback riding into the water, hopefully with some swimming involved this time. I chose Prince, a 4-year-old cheeky bastard who'd knocked up the horse who'd just had her foal before he was castrated, as I'd always wanted to ride him. He looked comfortable enuf, wasn't as comfortable in reality but does love the water so was no problems getting him in.

It is much harder to get them to swim in the ocean as you need them to go deep deep to let yourself float above them, but to do that you need control of the reins to guide them out there. And he kept trying to go back in, cos all his friends were up at the stable. I secretly think he hated me for it.

Regardless, I got pretty wet and J took some good photos so I was happy. Then Tom, with his abscice in the foot, needed attending to so I took him walking in the water, me on foot. Well, sometimes... I fell over a couple of times in there and ruined all chances of keeping my t-shirt dry (which I'd taken off for the ride with Prince). Came up dripping with water and sand to show the boss his foot, he wondered what the hell I'd been up to in there.

The afternoon was where it really started to get entertaining. I noticed one horse getting all colic-like on me, doing some weird shit and trying to lie down all the time, so we called the boss who was off-site at the time, and he said I needed to give him a shot so there I was again - Romania Pt. II - jabbing a needle, untrained, unknowing, unwise, into the neck of some poor animal. Anyway, it seemed to work and shazam, he was better! Phew.

Unfortunately, this all happened about the same time as the

Noticed something weird today... I have 2 scabs on my hands just like stigmata. Weird because I was just reading about stigmata in the Bob Marley bio L lent me, and now I have managed to get 2 marks on my hands just like it! Ha! Won't read TOO much into that.........

So we were about to feed all the horses and be out right on time, when I hear the walky-talky call. "Guides, come in. Guides, come in." Shit. What now? "I have a ride for you, 6 people, 4 - 5pm." OK. So we need to have 6 horses, and I need to saddle my horse. "Oh, sorry, also R wants you to work tomorrow and have Thursday off instead." OK... did have some plans but I guess they'll have to wait...

First, I was actually not put on the ride because she thought I'd want to rest for my big day on the next day. Hell no, I want to ride and I want to make tips!! So J kindly told the office manager he needed to milk the cow so I should take the ride. Next thing we know, "Guides, come in. Guides, come in." Yes????? "I have another ride for you, 4 people, 5 - 6pm." Are you serious?? Fuck's sake.

So I took the first ride out. Turned out to be 6 NY adolescents, I guess they were 18, half of which had never been horseriding before. Man, they were annoying. I found myself saying, before the ride even started, "OK, so what I'd like is no screaming. That will get you nowhere. Also, if you remember the simple instruction about how to stop the horse - yes, that's right, just pull back - then we are on the same page. You are controlling the horse, no one else."

But I tell you what, they were hard work. Actually got a little better towards the end, and I think they even enjoyed themselves, but when the still-working father of someone came back to pick them up, in between checking his Blackberry and trying to say thanks (it was hard for him to concentrate on me) I thought I'd get no tip. I actually walked away before he called me back to give me a 20. How about 100??? I wanted to yell. But I smiled sweetly and said thank you.

But the day was not over yet. I had a pony ride for the little girl too young to join her sister and dad on the ride J took out. Actually, I ended up getting a $5 tip from that, so that was something, at least! Pony rides don't usually get tips.

Had to go back up to the horses and unsaddle and prepare to feed for when J returned. Except that I lost my horse. I'd tied none of them up when I walked the Terrible Turds down, and all but my horse was in the rack, of course. Found him looking over the pen that Black Beauty and her foal - now named Pimienta (meaning Pepper, as that's the colour I think she'll end up) - that all the horses are wildly fascinated with. One horse, Tornado, honestly thinks he's the dad. The actual father, Prince, is not at all interested in her. Bad daddy.

And so it was that I didn't finish until just before 7pm. Cannot believe it. After such a non-eventful day - 7pm!!! Geeeeez. At least I got some tips and went out for a ride. But I mostly remember today for my injuries. I slammed my finger in the gate and scratched myself a few times - but the biggie came on my ride, when Prince bit me in the water. Maybe he was going for Chico, maybe he was pissed off at me making him swim earlier in the day... whatever it was, it fucking hurt. One of the screaming girls reacted by laughing hysterically at my injury. Yep. Real. Fucking. Funny.

It's already welting up.

And I shall name thy foal...

It was an exciting day today, a day of new beginnings, the miracle of nature, fresh faces... and no, I wasn't returning home. I was witnessing a foal being born.

It happened when J and I were readying the horses for their day of work (and ours). I hear J call out to me several times, and when I look over I see Black Beauty, the heavily pregnant mare I mentioned in yesterday's blog, on the ground and pushing. Her water had already broken and by the time I ran down, camera in hand, the front legs were on their way out of the back end.

Trembling with excitement, I was already on the phone to the boss and by the time I hung up, the whole foal was out. Quickest birth ever! They say horses usually take 5 - 20 mins to give birth... oh, to be a horse! Then it was a matter of breaking through the birthing membrane, get some air and get it off the baby. We were under instruction not to touch it so we just stood and watched, warding off curious horses nearby.

The process wasn't entirely smooth. She had decided to give birth right on the fence line, so the baby fell out kinda half in the feeding paddock (with all the other horses in there) and half under the Tamaring tree we usually get guests to wait by to mount up. J ended up having to nudge the foal a little to get it more on one side, so the mum could lick her and start the imprinting process.

The boss arrived shortly, excited family in tow, and we watched as the foal got to her (we now realised it was a girl) feet within 15 mins of birth - again, horses are amazing - and stagger around her mum looking for the teat it desperately wanted to suckle, tongue hanging out to the side. I was like a proud mother, videotaping her first steps and brimming with smiles as all appeared healthy and well. J told me I could name her, even though he was the first to see the birth technically, so I spent the rest of the day deep in thought. The boss says something Spanish... I'm thinking Pimienta (Pepper), as once the foal dried you could see some small speckles of white on it.

Then we got back to work as we had a ride coming in any moment, the same Dutch St Maarten woman and her kids I had a while back, this time with a bunch of visiting Americans with her. J and I had to split the ride, an irritating affair in itself, let alone the fact we had to deal with this bitchy, pushy woman for the ride. Of course, I was assigned her and her kids, the "faster" ride.

After the recent changes and mounting paranoia re safety on our rides, everyone wore helmets and I firmly told them the ride would go as to the lowest standard rider in the group. After the dad of 2 kids who could ride said to me while I fixed his stirrups, "We're not going faster than a trot, are we?" then one of his daughters telling me she only just learnt to canter, I thought, nope definitely NOT going faster than a trot!

The ride was uneventful, we did a few short trots but in essence, what they'd paid for (heavily discounted, thanks to this woman) was a walking ride so anything more was actually just out of kindness on our part. The kids and the adults would have been fine not even running, but this woman and her kids were pushing for it faster. I was having none of it. At the end, the Americans tipped me but of course the woman didn't. Again. Actually didn't even hear her say thanks.

Straight after, I had 3 more locals, this time from the French side. They also had only paid for walking so that's what they got. J asked me after if they tipped, I told him they were still wandering around taking pictures of the foal, and shortly after one of the girls came and gave me a small tip. Smaller than what J said he got, actually, so either the girl was really annoyed I didn't let her take her helmet off, she didn't have much money on her or I was just a shit guide. Whatever.

With the internet still playing up at work (I wonder if they've done some kind of blocking or changed their plan), I had to go to Pineapple Pete's for a beer and a surf. A was chilled now that he'd heard from me, had been worrying his little head I'd been up to... well, I dunno really. Who knows what goes on in there. I'm not sure how many times I can reassure him I am really trustworthy but I guess it'll wear thin soon. As long as he cuts it out when we're together again...

I think I got a bit of sun today as my body feel dehydrated. And my lips are a bit swollen from the sun, even though I've been applying lip cream like it's going out of fashion. But at least I got a good lunch, a soup gifted to me by my old neighbour. Bailed on my Spanish bar plans tonight as I have to work tomorrow - there was a mistake on the schedule so it seems I'm not off anymore. But Tuesday I'm hoping to get to Loterie Farm for some ziplining and then to Grand Cass for this weekly fiesta thing. It's go go go around here!

Pineapple Pete's is my saviour

Another beautifully sunny day greeted my 6am wake-up. I knew it was gonna be a good'un when I ate my breakfast, looking at the growing light and near-cloudless sky. Mozzies still about, though. Speaking of, have been sleeping without the net lately, just spray myself before bed and that seems to work. I remember when I used to wake up with a million bites and incessant scratching. Maybe my "new blood" has become old.

Another segway actually... I finally found the formula to not getting any attention on the roads. Go on your lunch break, in your oversized work shirt, dirty jodhpurs and fashion contraceptive Crocs, sweating slightly and stressed, hair flying in all directions... yep, that does it. No "hey rasta" calls there!!

Because of my 7am start, I had a 2-hour break, but this time I'd had enuf of the temperamental internet and I was about to walk to Pineapple Pete's when H told me she was also leaving so took me almost all the way there. Phew! I was stressed about my boy and his visa, which must be processing as we speak, and I knew he'd wonder why I wasn't online for a few days. Thinking I was off galavanting with newfound friends that buy me dinner for a wink or something. Bah!

I managed to get online at PP's, thankfully, though had hardly any activity on my Facebook there was a few messages from A, the last saying ever so eloquently, "Where the fuck are you?" Sorry sweetie, had some internet issues... I knew he'd been stressing. But it's kinda sweet. Not to worry, soon we'll live together and he won't have to worry one bit about my whereabouts!

Got back in time for the end of my break, not that there was much happening. We had hardly any rides, in fact nothing after the only cruise ride that came late morning. So I kinda wafted around feeling useless for most of the afternoon, helping here n there until some pony rides for a kid's birthday party.

Urgh, the pony rides. Some of these kids were plain brats. I certainly hope that when I have kids, they don't turn out like this. Where do these creatures even come from? And how do their parents not realise? This group of people seemed of Indian-esque origin, although clearly have lived here a while... and I must say, these children were NOT cute. In fact, ugly, already, at this age. Monobrows. Guts. Crooked teeth. Poor things. What a life they have ahead of them.

So two other horses have developed some eye conditions, great since the horse that actually needs drops is not cool with someone shoving a bottle of medicine in its eye several times a day. This is how Bonita started. Rearing, kicking, stepping on my toes, trying to bite me... Sigh. So for now, it's a group effort. Hopefully in time, Paco will give in to the fact it's going to happen and just let it happen. And Fuerte, will we assume it's just an irritation. For now, I have a sore hand surely about to bruise from my efforts today.

We noticed Black Beauty was actually dripping milk today... she is heavily pregnant and we actually thought she was going to drop before the boss went away early December but it's dragged on. Now she is so full of milk it's incredible, I've never felt an animal with such a hard udder. Maybe she's overdue. But all signs are pointing to a foal coming in the next 48 hours... hope so!! Exciting!

All in all, it was a boring day. Not many rides and barely any tips. This is meant to be high season, what's the dealio?? I was itching for it to be over. At least I got a slice of birthday cake... I am a sucker for cake!!

It was a beautiful sunset, a clear night and with a teensy chill in the air, I was happy - the only sounds that reminded me it was Saturday, an occasional yell from the street or car pumping loud, offensive R&B on bad stereo systems. Maybe I'll get a good sleep this time. This morning I woke from my alarm, I certainly was not awake when it rang as so often I am. And no one told me to come in early tomorrow so I'm coming in at 8 - I want a sleep in!

Anguilla: simply stunning

Having not gone out the night before, I woke easily and early for my "Anguilla Day", my solo trip to the nearby island so many times delayed previously. I had planned to get to the island by about 11am, but as it was, I was up, fed and hung my washing by 8:30, so was at Marigot as the clock struck 9 - luckily, as that was when the boat departed. I was hustled through border control (it's an English island) and was the last to board the ferry.

All this time I thought the trip was about 45 mins, but it was much quicker, maybe 20 mins. On the boat, I mentally ran through everything I brought with me... packed lunch (I'd heard the island was expensive for a penny-pinching girl like me), sarong/towel, both ends of my swimming costume... but dammit, forgot my book again!! I swear I'll never get through that thing. And my riding boots. Oh well, flip flops will have to do.

I had planned to hire a bike for the day, since the island was only 16 miles / 3 miles, but at the ferry dock there were just taxi vendors, who just annoy me with their arrogant assumptions that they were the only way to get around the island (there is no bus or public transport system). Not this little lady!! I grabbed a free map, gave it a quick study and stubbornly marched past them, chin held high. Ain't paying your inflated prices, thanks! Don't you "rasta girl" me...

Saw a billboard on the side of the road reminding locals that "Tourism is key", which made me think they needed reminding how good tourists were for their island... I was later told this wasn't the case, but it started me off thinking the locals hated us visitors. Not a good advertisement.

The closest nice beach looked to be Rendezvous Bay, an easy walk down a side street. I got to the end and ran into a bunch of "Positively Private Property" signs, which besides being quite funny were annoying as that was positively the exact way to my beach! Fuck it, walked it anyway and found it was actually a derelict resort. Kinda spooky, with its sagging porches, dusty bottles of alcohol on the bar and boarded-up windows.

Towards the end of the road, I saw workmen (better get onto the beach!) starting to repair the buildings. From the beach, I saw it looked like major structural damage from a big storm or something. And not to be the first I saw on the island. Later I was told there hasn't been a hurricane since 1999 and not many big storms so I wonder what did it.

Rendezvous Bay. Wow. Possibly the clearest, most "azure" as they say, water and almost entirely deserted. The sand, as I found all the beaches on Anguilla to have, was so soft, almost mushy, but lovely and near-white. There were just a few super yachts anchored a short way out, and some resorts at the other end of the beach. But nothing near me. And it was stunning.

Floating in the water, all alone, looking at the blue sky above, I concluded this island beat St Maarten's beaches any day. So I guess there is some point to coming here - I wasn't quite sure after someone told me Anguilla was just "an expensive day at the beach."

The first resort I walked through was also amazing, I wouldn't even want to know how much it was a night. It seems that's the thing to do here, come and splash out on a resort so you don't really have to move from there the whole time. Cos if you do, you won't find much else to do, actually. Probably explains why the great majority of tourists here were old or virtually invalids. One guy I saw sat in a chair on the sand with his socks still on, almost dribbling as he stared monotonously into the distance.

After Rendezvous, I wanted to see another beach before heading to the next cove to find the horseriding place. It looked a reasonable distance on the map, but it was hot so I kinda didn't want to walk, but I made myself... stubbornly. However, it didn't take long before a kind gentleman offered me a lift and took me to the door of my next bay. Luckily I had somewhere to be in the afternoon or I would have backed myself into a corner of having him show me around the island. Thanks, but just the ride will do.

And so I made it to Meads Bay in plenty of time. There was a tiny little cove to visit first, but I vacated as soon as a Catamaran floated in to anchor. Then it was another lovely beach, with a few more people but still not many, and a few waves to swim about in. After a swim, I had a sunbake... but not for long. A huge rainstorm came out of nowhere (should really sleep with one eye open) and we all ran for cover. 5 mins later I was on my way to the horseriding place, the island already shaking itself dry.

I found myself walking through some small ghetto (just can't keep away), avoiding eye contact with the blabbering, cursing black man in a dress that passed me (he actually stopped talking to himself as we passed, like I couldn't hear him before or afterwards). Walked and walked and walked, and started to wonder if I was going the right way. Couldn't call T, the lady who ran the stables, as my phone didn't work on the island. Ended up walking into a resort and borrowing the cell of the man at the front gate, who also gave me directions to the stables.

And so it was that I walked along another beach, working my calf muscles, and eventually wound my way to the stables. Waited a short time before T came, looking at her half-dozen horses and playing with her kitten. The horses looked a bit bored, sitting in their muddy paddocks, and a couple looked past their best years. But they weren't skinny, just a bit befuddled from the recent rain (the albino was a murky yellow colour instead of white).

There was one horse that stood out, a gorgeous gelding Pace Fino with a blonde mane and livered chestnut colour, almost like a Haflinger. She asked which one I wanted to ride, and I chose that one at her suggestion. "He only got one ball chopped off cos the other was stuck up inside so he still acts like a stallion sometimes." Ahh, this should be interesting.

He wasn't too bad, just a bit spirited in the faster gaits, throwing in regular pig-roots (small bucks) and tossing his head around. I never felt unsafe though, and it was beautiful running along the beach I'd just walked. I lost a flip-flop at one point, thankful that's all I lost since I'd never really ridden in them, although for all my worrying T was wearing them too!

After the (free) ride, she gave me a lift to the ferry and I gave myself a mental high-5 that I'd managed the whole day without sacrificing any of my dollars to the taxi demons. The ferry left shortly after, in sync with the sun, and I enjoyed another breathtaking farewell to the day in a colourscape of pink, yellow and blue.

Was considering going to Pineapple Pete's to check my internet as I hadn't gone online properly for 2 days now, and what if A was trying to get through to me?? Leave it, I reconsidered. I was tired from my big day and needed water and rest. I'll check it on lunch tomorrow. If I get one.

Muddy but beautiful

I absolutely cannot complain about today's weather. In sharp contrast to yesterday, it was crystal clear blue skies, a hot sun and the most fitting of breezes up on the headland. The mud still hung around, of course, and that made it a shitter to begin the day but it was certainly not the burden it was with the day before's heavy rain.

I actually almost cried when I got in early today, when I couldn't find any shoes that didn't leak, looking out to the ankle-deep bog that was the horse paddock. I had to go and catch them, but I didn't want my feet shrivelling up all wrinkly and damp the whole day, let alone the fact I could get some gross foot condition from that.

Thankfully, I found a pair of wellies/gum boots/water shoes/whatever your country calls them, and set off to catch the horses for the day. Well, I caught a few then left J to finish off, giving myself instead the task of brushing them all down - still in mud, but not as thick. After almost 20 dirty, muddy horses, I was over the brushing too.

My first ride, as it often is, was a 2-hour walking ride. Now if you get good people on these rides that don't mind a chat and amble along, it's OK. But if you get stuck with people who can't speak good English or who just don't talk much, well, that can be a challenge to fill the time. The American couple I got were lovely, from NY and staying in the rich part of the island. Needless to say, they tipped me well. Especially since the wife ended up "actually enjoying the ride" when she thought she'd hate it.

On the flip side, my other 2 rides - a woman on horseback with unfit partner trailing behind on foot taking photos and sweating balls in the heat, and an older French man on a private ride who stripped down to budgie-smugglers for the water part (gotta love the French) - both congratulated me on a great ride and were wholly complimentary on everything about the stables, yet gave me no tip. I have to learn to just accept the compliments, really.

It wasn't a hard day but any strength, the only annoying thing being the mud at the beginning. Because I started early, I was given a 2-hour lunch break (and actually got it this time as we weren't so busy) so used the time to walk over to a nearby food place to avoid choosing from the same 8 options my workplace bar affords us. I stupidly did the distance in my shorts, rubbing salt into my thighs and stinging by the time I returned. Also stupidly chose kinda unhealthy food... then again, I always do when I go there. Maybe I should just stop going there.

Given I did basically just ride today, I can't say I didn't enjoy it. The rides were all different, and the lady (a horse instructor/trainer herself) with her partner were quite entertaining, especially in the water where she got the Haflinger Bob that she wanted to ride to go in deeper, and we had a good splash-around. Chico is still umming and ahhing about the water, but he made a good effort.

There was no lesson tonight as the arena was a sloppy mess from the recent rain. I also was told only one lady will be riding Seductor from now on, as she seems to be doing the best on him. Fair enuf, but it makes me feel I failed a little. On the other hand, I think this woman has a fair few years of dressage and competition training up her sleeve in comparison to teach-yourself-me. I wonder who I'll ride now...

The internet was being a bit selective today so I wasn't allowed on gmail or Facebook, and had to pop to Pineapple Pete's to see if it worked there. Again, no luck but I had to order a beer so I sipped on that. But halfway through I started feeling a little woozy, tried to make it better by finishing the beer (ha!) and then started to think I had a little too much sun today. I did forget to wear my hat on that 2-hour ride...

I had possibly things to do for the evening, it being the Dutch intern's last night and also the arrival of my new friend from Canada, as well as my friend from NYE up for having a drink. But I couldn't connect online to them and also actually didn't feel up for it. I have a big day planned for tomorrow. Anguilla - finally - as well as a sleep-in (as in waking up after the sun rises) and a horseride with T at her stables over there. Must keep up my fluids!

1 month more on the homophobic island

And so it is. One month from now I will be flying out of this island. Kinda sad but I am so excited to see my boy again, it's boiling up inside of me. I am gonna make this a killer last month, do everything I have wanted to, have some fun, but also save money. Go out with a bang. As is my speciality.

The day began rainy, and but for a period of sunshine in the middle, ended much the same way. I found myself wet for the majority of my day, fun times especially for my wrinkled prunes of feet and my damp shirt reminding my stomach that I had not yet worked out my dietary indiscretions in St Thomas. I hate that they have a photographer snapping these situations!

I had 3 rides, although that tied me up for my entire day. My first ride was a 2-hour, and my tips were sparse although included a whole bowl's worth of fruit from the cruise ship much nicer than the fruit I have to choose from in the supermarket. Well, get what I can, I guess!

The second ride was a private 1.5 hour, although given the mud and the nervousness of the wife in the couple, we kept it walking - fine with me! They were nice, American again, and tipped me somewhat more generously in comparison. Even went in the water, which was much calmer than I'd expected. We thought there'd be an undercurrent as the wind was picking up, but it was all good. Even Chico behaved himself (although I still got wet up to my boobs).

I sat eating lunch and talked with a couple of funny American drunks who'd barely slept from the night before (always entertaining), R luckily had them and they tipped him handsomely but at least they were enjoying their time no matter the weather. Because by this time, the rain had started up again and I sat chewing, watching the other guides riding through the showers, getting soaked to the bone.

It was about this time my boss came over and grandly announced there was a bus of Germans coming... and I was taking the ride. Are you serious? Why do I always get stuck with ze Germans?? They never tip, can hardly speak English, need everything translated and have a tendency to fuss over things. Yes, he said, you're the best at speaking German. He must have been joking. My German extends to basic greetings and random sentences I spent hours perfecting while in Germany and Austria last year, like "Can you please help me" and "I am a world wanderer" (much harder than it sounds, can't even write it cos I can't spell it!).

So there it was. I was stuck with 9 Germans, en route in the pouring rain (half of me firmly believing they would never show up, all of me hoping). They finally arrived and we told them, relax, wait for the rain to subside if you wish... and they did. The rain persisted. I stood nearby in the beach hut, trying to conceal my discomfort under a towel wrapped around my head and body. But I was aching to go home. Cold and annoyed I was about to put my neck out in the rain for people who I knew would more likely grumble than tip... yep, wasn't much motivation.

They ummed an ahhed, mainly because they'd prepaid the ride so didn't want to waste the money - if they'd paid on arrival, they, well, never would have arrived. But the cruise ship had their money firmly tucked into their jacket pockets, so it was ride or lose out. So they rode.

Finally content with just a faint smattering of rain, one eye on their watches for the ship leaving time, all 9 of them marched up behind me to get their horses. Of course, halfway through mounting everyone it came down like no one's business. We lost one rider to the "too-hard" basket, and the rest just battened down their rain jackets, helmets or disposable ponchos. Man against nature. Round 1.

It turned out not to be so bad, the weather clearing up and showing at least some of the islands nearby, the riders actually smiling and laughing, and the translator translating what most of them could actually understand from me. I had just 1 of the 8 wanting to go in the water, then when we got there it rose to 4. So half the ride. Why you'd want to do the whole friggin ride without the special water bit at the end is bizarre, but I took the more adventurous in. While the others, more than likely, kicked themselves that they hadn't grown a pair while they had the chance.

It was really a miserable afternoon. Thankfully, by the time I returned from my ride and bid my guests goodbye - to a unanimous thank you but as expected, no tips - most of the work was underway and I had but menial tasks to do to sign the day off. The boss bought us all a drink at the bar afterwards, knowing what a shit it had been to work. The bar girl had a Presidente beer already waiting for me. One look at my face...

So with my tip and overtime earnings topping a measly $30 (at least better than nothing), I sat by the beer, talking with the Dutch intern that had just 2 days to go before leaving island. And we walked home, me in my wet clothes and minus even the enjoyment of having Polly bounding ahead of me, looking back every few metres for my companionship. Nope. Nothing like that. Just wetness. All around me.

Oh, and homophobism (is that even a word??). This bloody island, I tell ya! So homophobic!! "Faggots" this, "homos" that... I had a good ol' vent at them all, the close-minded fucks. Can't believe people are still so non-understanding in this day n age. It's guys like this that breed kids that beat gay people. And that sickens me.

Gladly I confined myself to home quarters for the evening, nothing much planned until tomorrow, when I meet up with my Canadian friend E back in town for some drinks. I'm off the following day, so I'm allowed to treat myself. Although I planned to go to Anguilla the following day, so I guess I still have to be up for something. But time is a-tickin'! Now just to down out the sound of Polly wailing outside my bedroom window... I am NOT letting her in. Gods knows what kind of person will inhabit it after I leave. But I wish I could...

Celebrating good health

Was a fun day today, despite getting up at the crack of dawn to start a week-long run of early starts for the cruise ship onslaught affording us Monday - Saturday (minus Friday, also my day off). It ended particularly well, too, as the boss decided to let me go a couple of hours early rather than have me stay with two other guides to the end of the day and pay me my overtime from having no lunch during the day.

I did 4 rides altogether, 2 cruise ship and 2 private. The funniest actually returned me the least in tips, but it was entertaining to have these 4 inexperienced Americans laughing and joking about as we walked n trotted around the headland. Kept it slowish since they weren't great riders, and actually one of the girls didn't feel confident in slowing her horse so in the end we just walked.

They gave me just $5 at the end, although got some cracking photos in the water by N. One of the horses I think was pulled back on too much and jumped up in the water, and that was a great shot. Of course they all bought the CD. N thought thank me for that later - ha!

Before my last ride, with one Canadian woman, I was told I'd be finished afterwards, I didn't even need to unsaddle my horse (although I did). Sweet! Perfect timing to get into Philipsburg and buy that camera I've been waiting to get. All these activities I plan to do, I want to do them with a camera of course, so I was glad to get a chance to buy one before Anguilla on Friday.

Checked the internet and sank a beer before I left work, then Polly and I went home and I changed to go into town. In town, I ended up on Front St (the tourist strip) thinking I'd get a good deal in the competitive electronics shops, asked around and settled with one place that seemed keen to bargain. There is no tax on electronics here so they're really reasonably priced, actually the cheapest I've ever gotten considering I had a memory card and case thrown in. I just asked for one with panorama and ended up with the previous model Sony Cyber-shot. Sure hope it fairs better than the last Cyber-shot I bought all those years ago (mega faulty)!

At the same shop, actually, I managed to find some jewellery for mum's birthday as a nice compliment to my return home. I guess it was reasonably priced also, but I really have no idea about jewellery so... all I know is that it's pretty!

N had assured me that "tonight's the night" to go out, as she'd bailed the previous two, but I wasn't holding out. So I came home and cooked a hearty meal of marinated (how very organised of me!) steak and boiled veggies - here's to me eating well - and was surprised to see some missed calls from N asking when I wanted to meet her. Glad it was earlier than the 10pm she'd suggested - something tells me she had stayed at the bar after kayaking - so she was off to get me after a few on her motorbike. Hmmm....

We went to Privy, this island's attempt at swanky... a rooftop bar on the main road that had views of car lights, drunk people walking down the middle of the street and some neon signs for the nearby casinos. To be fair, the cool night air was a welcome change to the stuffiness of my bedroom but I had to wear a jacket. The wind was starting to come up.

The place was empty, and as we were so early it was Happy Hour. All good things in my book, I have no interest in socialising when I'm out these days. The odd person I'll talk to if I'm left to my own devices, but largely I go out with my friends, not looking sideways at "potential" cuties as I would have once upon a time. Yep, I'm a changed woman.

We only had a couple of rum punches before N called it a night. She told me the reason behind her insistence to have drinks - she is a cancer survivor and just recently got final tests done to see if it was completely eradicated from her body. The tests came out all clear so she was happy - understandably! I was glad I'd made the time for her, she really is a lovely woman. I am going to miss her the most.

After some weird crab meat bruscetta things, we hopped back onto the bike - me kinda worried about her alcohol intake especially as my insurance has just run out - but I got home safely, as did she afterwards. The night was young, but I was up early the next day.

Dinner at the Yacht Club

I did not expect today to end up a bit drunk, at the Simpson Bay Yacht Club... but of course my boy would have. He knows what I am capable of, and indeed so do I but at the same time days still astound me as to how they turn out sometimes.

I'd been asked to come in for one ride, a private ride (1.5 hours) which under the new circumstances meant it was only walking since one half of the couple was a first-time rider. I explained to them the policy of not going fast with beginners, and they understood, although the experienced girl of the couple I know wished it was different. Even said, "It's OK, he doesn't mind falling off." Yes, but I do!! I'm sorry but after last time......

The ride went smoothly enuf, me not budging past a walk the whole time. They were Canadian - AGAIN - and I thought for a moment they weren't gonna tip me, when I came back down with my bag to head home, they pressed $25 into my hand. A decent tip, especially for Canadians. But seriously, what's with all the Canadians... eh???

I gave them some tips on the good beaches to go, and I think they ended up choosing Mullet Bay, while I myself was pondering where to go. N was too busy again to catch up, and promised later but I didn't hold my breath, and ended up getting a lift from the boss wife to Cupecoy. She, in her Dutch English, mentioned it was a "no clothes" beach but I assumed it was just a topless beach. No no, I looked down and was confronted with full-on, old-person top-to-toe nudity. My main problem with that, not getting nude but expecting me to look at everyone else in that state. When they're all at least twice my age. All good when I'm that age but now.... don't think so.

I walked through a little bush track to the next beach - and by beach I mean small stretch of sand that occasionally got thrashed by breaking waves. I positioned myself a fair way away.... but clearly not far enuf... about the point I realised there was a naked black man about 3m to my left (I deftly moved my topless body face down), a huge wave came and swallowed almost my whole body alive - thankfully my cat-like reflexes caught my bag in time and all was well inside that personal capsule of life.

That about did my time at Cupecoy. The beach was practically non-existant, the hotels seemed formidable in their welcoming and Mullet Bay all too close. I originally went there for a gentle beer by the sunset, but it turned out a little bit more.

Walking down the sidewalk - at times non-exsitant - I built up a hefty thirst for a beer, and when Mullet Bay came I happily walked the beach to get a cold one. Parking myself somewhat in the thick of it, I soon happened upon some (hidoeous) Aussie accents and talked a little with the group, who ended up being from the super yachts. Gone in a few days, thank fuck. Haha... what a bitch I am.

Then an American started talking to me, interesting in some advice on his soon-to-be trip to Oz. I grabbed another beer (ran into some old man I'd met at Buccaneers before and his cold-as-ice wife - I assume - who made some snide remarks about her being in Canada while he must have been "flirtatious" with me. I condescendingly patted her arm while explaining he could be my father, stupid cow) and we kept talking.

The guy was super sweet, overweight and not all that attractive and travelling alone. I felt for him, as he told me how pretentious and horrible the girls could be in Washington, where he was from. He had a stammer and was a little reserved, but I perked him up, surprised him when I said I would come to Sunset Bar to watch the sun (umm) set, and have another drink. That's what happens when I get a couple into me on the beach...

We enjoyed a beautiful sunset, I had some random, drunk American come over with a shot of Jagermeister proclaiming, "You must be Australian with that accent! Drink this!" OK, if I must. Then bought me and my new friend another drink. Ahh, the drunk. So free with their money.

Afterwards, we got talking about dinner and I said I was hungry, but would head home to cook something as I was a bit short on cash. He waved it off, saying we should go somewhere nice for a bite. It is not often I get shouted dinner so I agreed, he being a gentleman and also on his own. I guess he wouldn't mind the company.

Dinner was nice, although my mahi-mahi fish was so seasoned I wasn't quite sure where the fish started and my sauce ended. Regardless, a couple of drinks later and I was definitely more than tipsy. Straight home afterwards, after another successfully random outing. N bailed on my again due to tiredness, no matter I had my hands full, and promised to do something the next night. We'll see, we'll see...

(More) free massages and drug boats. In that order.

I woke up with the firm intention of doing the Rhino Safari today, despite the morning rain - and no, that's not traversing jungle tracks in a jeep in search of horned predators. Much less alarming, it's the name they give to the small dinghy/jetski with an outboard motor, that you drive solo or with a partner, and are guided for 2.5 hours around certain areas of the island, including some nice snorkelling spots.

I had been excited about this for a while, and thinking I could get it for a reasonable discount through staff contacts, I went down to Seaside in the morning to see if it was possible to book for that afternoon. I'd already done a bit of washing (now my mortal enemy) and finally got credit on my phone during grocery shopping (Polly waiting faithfully outside the supermarket doors, bless her), so I was set.

Unfortunately, the price had escalated a little and the afternoon was already full, so I shelved that idea for the moment and instead prodded the office manager for some ideas on different beaches to visit. I have to make use of every day off from now on! She suggested Baie Rouge on the French side, and N who keeps a private horse at the stables happened to be going that way, so I didn't even need to bother with buses. Hooray!

The beach was a little unusual, in that its sand was quite uneven and then literally dropped down to the water. So the water didn't come up into the pockets of lower sand, it just naturally undulated against a barrier of trees that provided shade to those choosing the back of the beach to park their butts. Nice to not have to buy an umbrella!

There were a few rastas floating around with their prying eyes, but I managed to find a spot a little further away to comfortably embrace the French side idealisms. If you get my point. Soon I met a masseuse en route around the beach and told him I couldn't afford any massages. No worries, he said, I'll give you a free sample.

Now this isn't the first time this has happened to me. I forgot to mention it in my previous blog because it happened during my drunken Tuesday off, and honestly I forgot it happened until today, but that day a lady masseuse had given me a free massage too. I gather it makes other people want one, seeing someone else getting poked n prodded into a firm state of relaxation.

I got talking with the masseuse of today, and was telling him which parts of the island I'd seen, and that I was on a mission to see more of it before I went home to my boyfriend. He offered to take me to the next beach over, where some really nice views were. And also if I wanted him to take him massage table out for a proper massage, he was happy to do it for free.

Now I know this sounds suss, but I judged the situation soberly and carefully. He had a proper table, brought out sheets and towels of all descriptions, and after he'd shown me some actually nice views, he gave me a head-to-toe (but NOT full body!) massage, being careful to keep my non-massaged body parts under towel. It was beautiful, the waves crashing behind me and the sun warming my body. Helped to fix that sore calf muscle, too.

Afterwards, he said he would do it again another time if I liked, and I said I have to be respectful to my boyfriend and going about getting massages all the time isn't really going about that the best way. Then I got into a long description about how this guy was it, he was the one, I'd waiting my whole life to find him and now I had, I didn't want to lose it. I wanted to be with him forever. In the car on the way to dropping me off in Marigot, he remarked about how sullen and reflective I'd become. Well, that's what happens when you get me thinking about my boy, I said.

I got home, had a quick snack (not the most healthy, won't even describe it) and then had to go back to Seaside to get Polly, who had been waiting there since I ran off in a car, thinking I was off working with the horses all day. I am really becoming fond of this little doggy, will be sad to say goodbye to her. There I did some more sunbaking in my "French side" bikini (ass cheeks now red!) and chatted with my workmates when the day was done. In front of a beautiful sunset, a heavily loaded boat passed.

"Ahh, must be from Puerto Rico."
"What is it?"
"Drugs."
"Really?? How do you know?"
"I just know. First box is marajuana, second is cocaine, third is ecstasy pills."

Still not sure if they were kidding or not. Seemed pretty serious to me.

Later at home, I chilled out while waiting for N to call and arrange drinks... possibly. She always has so much on the go I wasn't holding my breath. When she did call, she apologised that she had to stay home and finish off some photography work but could we reschedule for tomorrow? Sure! I have to go to work for one ride, but afterwards hopefully we'll do something. Visit the fortress perhaps? Random photo shoot? Until then, it's just me, my laptop, a biography of Bob Marley and the reverberating rhythms of ongoing church worship and the kind of preaching we usually only see in Eddie Murphy comedies. Happy Sunday, everyone!

Hungry horses = trouble

The cruise ships returned - not with a vengeance as such, but they still returned. Made sure we had plenty of work to do, which always makes a day pass quicker, but it's so deceiving when it's so quiet in the morning...

We had tropical downpours on and off all day, so I surprised all the cruise ship rides came - albeit a little late. This meant my lunch break was pushed back and I wasn't able to try and call A, although he was probably face down in a wine-induced drunken stupor - haha, I'm so harsh...

Altogether I took out 3 rides, all 1-hour so nothing too difficult. Sometimes 2 hours can be almost painful if you get guests that don't talk much... But most people that came were connected with the cruises so it was a quick in and out for them. Being on a tight schedule for their day on the island, there's not usually much dilly-dallying.

All my rides tipped, and many of them were Canadian (again) so that was a pleasant surprise. My last ride, an Asian couple that lived in Canada, tipped me well and capped off what was my best tipping day for the year. It's good to see things looking up - I was beginning to worry everyone spent all their money in 2011, or even worse, I was a shit guide undeserving of their extra sumthin' sumthin's. It really is so important when you live in a place like this.

Eating breakfast, my old neighbour told me about a cruise ship that had run aground and killed a handful of people... never did find out more about that, but it made me think, only recently I had wondered if they ever had accidents anymore these days. You always think of the Titanic, but when do you ever hear about modern cruise ships having an incident? Either way, it was a shame to hear.

I helped put on a mother and (only) child for J's private ride, and was instantly glad he was taking it out when the kid - probably 10 or 12 - tells me, "I have a phobia against bugs, is there some kind of spray you can put on the horse to stop them coming near me?" The mum apologetically says he put a whole can of spray on himself and what happens happens, and I added we didn't actually use spray on the horses as they don't really need it. He pointed to the flies at the horse's feet and said, "Well, what are they?" Flies, my dear, flies. Geez, you wouldn't last a minute in Australia. "Once you get out on the headland, the wind is so strong I doubt any flies could stand it." In other words, fuck off you needy, annoying little person.

While the guys were out on rides, I was left to do the rest of the feeding - a rare occurrence, and gladly so, as I get SO angry with the horses when I'm trying to feed. They're extra cheeky and troublesome, and I find myself almost beating them (to no avail, they'd rather a slap on the neck if it got them an inch close to the feed shed) to get them away.

R, the office manager, came up mid-anger spurt and I had to tell her to get away before I exploded unintentionally on her... well, she didn't like that one bit! Came back later and told me I'd better be careful saying that or she'd tell the boss. I calmly explained to her that she didn't want to talk to me in a mood like that, and so I was trying to get her away before I inflicted it unnecessarily on her. I think she understood. Either way, she is welcome to tell the boss on me. I wasn't being disrespectful - in fact, the opposite - I didn't want to be mean to her just cos of my mood when she didn't deserve it.

And so the day was at its end. My horse, Chico, followed me down (cute) before he probably realised I had no carrots and I sat drinking some beer on the internet before going home. The bar girl, S, had said we'd go to a Spanish bar and do some karaoke but I didn't hear anything by 10pm so I just got (some of) my washing done and chilled out. Then A called me for a nighttime chat, which made me feel all warm n fuzzy, and J called at the same time but by then I was too far into bed to go out. Tomorrow is a day off and I am looking forward to the sleep-in, granted my body gives me one.

Unknown pains

Not sure what I ate but something caused me to wake up with searing pains sometime in the early morning... like period pain x50. I almost couldn't tear myself from the bed but I knew I had to, I had to try and get whatever was hurting me out of my body. I sat in the bathroom with my head in my hands, dazed n confused about what was going on.

Eventually, I stumbled back to bed and just concentrated on breathing until the pain subsided, too uncomfortable even to get a drink of water. Hell no was I getting up again to go to the toilet!

The morning started with rain, so very fun when you work with horses. The mud persisted, although the water tanks got a top-up, and I was sent out on the first ride of the day. Two American girls on holidays with one of their families, nothing too interesting. Weather was a bit shitty so I felt bad that they probably didn't enjoy it the best they could have.

More Canadians for my second ride, and they were lucky as they had the only 2 hours straight that didn't rain. Gave me a tip, too, which is good. Canadians don't always tip. But I seem to have had a run of them that do, which I certainly won't complain about! Were my only two rides for the day, given it was a rare day off for cruise ships on the island.

Got a little speech about the damage done by off-the-cuff Facebook statuses, prompted obviously by someone talking to my boss about something I said of a bad day at work. Shame, really, since the people I was friends with I thought were well versed with my work and the horse business in general, but it seems some people just can't help taking things the wrong way. Lucky he doesn't know about my blog (thought at least that's written in full and better explained!).

The driver is still not looking at me in the eye or taking to me at all. Works for me. At least I don't have to make general chit-chat, and at least he isn't trying to make friends with me now like he is to J, the original person he was fighting with. I've put him down to a face I will easily forget.

My left calf is getting sore from the unevenness of my cowboy boots. A short while ago the heel wore down on the left one, now it's like a have a pimp limp. Feel like I should have a cane with a dead spider in the top of it or something. It wasn't really noticeable before but now I have to deal with left-hand-body injury. Dag namit! But I'm stubborn. I'm not getting them fixed. These damn boots have had a good life, they're staying on St Maarten when I leave.

A is still offline, so unless I call him from Skype we're not in contact. A bummer since my lunch breaks aren't always in unison with his hours awake, and also it is very expensive to call to Australian mobiles from Skype here, but I guess he's worth it. He'll read that and say, "I guess?? I guess he's worth it?" Yes baby, of course you're worth it. Now stop fretting your pretty little head.

Back to Seductor

Today was not all that busy, I had just two rides to do, which was good since I still hadn't had time to nip out to the shops to buy a new hat. The sun, how it burns my poor little face!! Actually, I came in early today but the boss forgot to tell J to sleep in so there were 3 of us in early and everything was done nice n quick.

That meant I got a 2-hour break, during which I COULD have gone to the shops had I planned it well, but to be honest I was kinda hoping I'd see A pop up online and have a chat... alas, no, he's now without internet so a little harder to catch.

Before my first ride I had a call from L, who I'd not seen since the beginning of the year. He was wondering what I'd been up to, and when he found out I'd been back from St Thomas for almost a week, he asked if I was avoiding him. Not exactly... but I certainly have less of an inclination to hang out with him since E left. I dunno, there was just something about him when she was here that erked me. Maybe I'll grab a drink with him sometime soon... no hurry.

I was a bit bored by this day, with the American couple on my first ride proving to be somewhat uninspiring. The second ride, a last-minute walk-in I was switched to, was an 18-year-old Romanian girl who worked as a guide in her country. So clearly she could ride, so it was an enjoyable ride for me, who since these new policies came into play, thought I'd be destined to be walking the same trails forever more.

I impressed her with the fact I'd lived in Romania for 2 months working with horses, and knew a few Romanian words. Nothing like I used to know, as most of it had converted into Spanish, but still - what are the chances when you're from somewhere like Romania?! She made me laugh when I asked her how she was doing, and she said she didn't had a bra on. Oh yes, but a bikini top? No, nothing. Ha! Ouch.

And so it was Thursday. Lesson night. Except since early December, when the boss went away with his family, we hadn't had any lessons. I kinda forgot it was Thursday (most of the time I forget the day here) so I was surprised when someone asked which horse I was riding tonight. Uhh, yeah, OK, Seductor I guess. He'd apparently been behaving well for J in lessons and the instructor I when she had ridden him. Thankfully, there was enuf time beforehand to run to the shops and grab a new hat and Crocs - finally!

They were using all sorts of new apparatus on him these days, some kind of martingale which didn't seem to make much difference to my experience on board the 3-year-old... maybe I'm just not riding him right. But with the new bridle, bit, etc etc, he was just as nervous and impatient as normal. What happened to the first night when he was an angel?? Didn't help that I wore my stirrups like I was trail riding, really should have shortened those puppies... speaking of puppies, Polly the sweetie kept trying to go inside the arena because she didn't want to part with me. Cute! I wish I could fly her home with me.

Came home to eat dinner surrounded now not only by Polly's doe-eyed face, but the cat (I still don't know who exactly feeds that one) and Rocco, the dog that is infested with tick fever and worms and god knows what else, that they've finally taken from the farm to try and give a second chance. I was so upset he'd have to get put down, as he's a really sweet dog, but now they're pulling out the stops to get him better. Hopefully I see him pack on the pounds before I go.

And another segway... told the boss the exact date of me leaving, he just nodded and said thanks. I wonder if I've pissed him off by leaving so soon... but I did explain why and I guess all I have is to hope I've done right by him by being honest. All I know is that I'm super excited to see my baby again. And I know he feels the same. Bring on the next chapter. Together.

Roll roll roll the horse, gently down the beach...

My body was a bit all over the place, having originally passed out before 7pm the night before and then tossed n turned trying to win more sleep... there was not much need for my alarm clock. I knew I had to get up, I was awake, but I was certainly not feeling it.

To make matters worse, I misplaced my hat and it was to be a busy day, so I was to spend hours without shade on my precious little while girl face. God only knows what the result would be.

Funnily enuf, that was to be the least of my problems. As the day progressed, I found that not just one, but two of my horses felt like rolling in the sand with beginners atop, and I was without explanation except that "well, they like to do that." The first horse was not a "roller" so I didn't expect it, the other had been out of work for a while so I didn't even register that it was a possibility. At least no one was seriously injured, or really injured much at all.

Then there was the stumble. Max, a gentle, tall horse, was given a sturdy lady (probably too big for him to be honest) and during our walking tour he fell over a rock and she tumbled off. Thankfully, she was not hurt and neither was he - she also understood, as she was an advanced rider, that horses are not superhuman and do occasionally stumble. I dusted her off and we continued the ride.

It was a massive day for tips. I had an American couple for a 2-hour ride to begin my day, and they gave me a lil sumthin' sumthin' which was nice. But after that it was just cruise rides - and I tried to make them good, I really did!! Those horses, you just can't predict their behaviour all the time. They'll be the death of me.

Speaking of being the death of me, man o man was this customer annoying... part of a larger group of older American tourists, the first thing he said to me when he got on the horse was, "Can I get off and walk beside it instead?" Why on earth would you want to do that, I asked. To give it a rest, his explanation. I'm thinking, why the hell did you come on the ride in the first place but he answered me anyway... I don't like horseriding, I'm just doing this for my wife. Great, so I'll get the bitching n moaning for the rest of the time. Can't wait.

He wasn't too bad, since he couldn't hear that well and mostly I just spoke to everyone else but him. He was the only one to smoke on my ride, not something I care about, just told him to butt it out on the sole of his shoe and put it in the bin (which I doubt he did)... but of course he didn't come into the water. Fine with me, I would probably have led him out into the deep if he annoyed me... of course not, I am a responsible guide.

Thought I'd get away with being regularly wet this day, but it seems not even a boob-high water mark on my shirt was enuf. A party of 3 complained they didn't get any photos in the water at the end of their ride, so my boss said they could take photos on a horse with me leading it quickly before the next ride. I led Madonna (with one blue and one brown eye) down to the water and each of the 3 people mounted, while I led them in and treaded water while they snapped away. I didn't actually realise I'd get so deep but there I was, dreds wet to my ears n all. Sigh. I got a $5 tip. I suppose they felt sorry for me.

The day was pretty hot, so I didn't take long to dry. Again, it was so uneventful I can't even remember the end to this day so that's about it for this blog. Almost caught up on the days anyway, since E's departure. Yep, my head's almost right again.

Random day off drunkenness

I didn't plan to get so drunk on my day off. I swear. It just happened.

First, I woke without alarm early enuf to wash my clothes before meeting A online at Seaside. I'm slowly but surely working through the stack of clothes in my hamper untouched during Hurricane Erm. Was going to clean my room, too, but appointments must be kept.

At Seaside, it was go go go as the cruise ships were in force. J had been asked to swap his day off, so there were plenty of guides about, taking rides and talking with guests. It was past 11am, I thought I deserved a day off beer. And another. And another.

Before I knew it, I was on my fourth and I really had to slow down. The painstaking process of booking a flight was frustrating not just me, but A who I was now on Skype chat with as the phone conversation was too distracting to figure out which flight to book. They were all so confusing, some cheaper but then charging more for baggage, others more overall... But finally I just made the call and pressed "confirm".

N was there taking photos of the cruise ship rides - of which there were plenty - but had to be called away when her daughter's school rang to say she'd fallen off the monkey bars and an ambulance was on its way. What a horrible feeling as a mother. So she shot off, mid plans with me as to which island we should hop to first.

Concurrently online, I was organising with the Dutch intern to meet him and his friends at Karakter beach, a popular hangout for Dutch people as it was a bar with Dutch owners. It was much more chilled-out than New Years Day, the last time I was there, and after not finding T anywhere, I took a dip.

It not being a huge beach, he spotted me and I moved my things - including my guavaberry on ice - to his group. They were sprawled out on the big bean bags the bar has, and I happily joined them, drifting in and out of sleep and sipping on my slowly melting drink. They were mostly talking Dutch so I could easily zone out.

The others left and it was just T and his cute friend M. They canoodled in the water while I chilled a little longer, we were given free glasses of Prosecco (not that I needed that!) and I continued with my guavaberries. They are so lethal, I always forget that... and so it was that I made friends with a Columbian/St Maarten couple and got a lift home in their car. I let T and M go to La Bamba together - I didn't need any more excuse to drink.

I must've hit home shortly after the sun went down, so well before 6pm. Can't remember anything but S from work says I saw her walking home on the street and made some lewd comment and/or gesture. Can't have been me.

At midnight, I woke to myself spread-eagled on the bed, light on, clothes sprawled across the room, throat burning, lips dry, stomach growling... I needed to be tended to. Grabbed a tuna sandwich I'd prepared earlier from the fridge and watered myself, sorted my room out quickly and fell back asleep. Or tried to. It was a restful night.

Don't come cryin' to me

Today was memorable for no other reason than "Smiley", the new driver they nickname such because he's always smiling, showed me a very unfriendly side to his personality during the staff meeting. There is one thing that bugs me in this world, and that's someone who will go on and on in an argument repeating themselves and cutting into you whenever you try to open your mouth.

We had a staff meeting, a new weekly initiative they started for 2012 where I guess problems and new ideas are raised. There was a difference of opinion between J and the driver, but even before that whenever I tried to add something to the conversation he just plain interrupted me. That got me annoyed to start with - then he started having a go at J with no basis for his argument. He is only new so really hasn't got the job right in his head yet.

Anyway, it wasn't really any of my business but I thought to myself, when everyone walks away, if he looks to me to get his point across, I will not be having any of it. That he did, but he'd barely got the words out before I explicitly told him there would be no further discussion on that topic with me because I was a guide and I will take the guide's side, and I didn't want to be the next person he picks an argument with.

Well, he didn't take that too well, just kept talking and talking at me, and I just told him I had no interest in talking to him, but he kept on and on. I literally had to walk away and put my earphones in to drown him out. Smiley my ass.

During the meeting, the boss outlined new procedures to be implemented for rides, such as all riders to wear helmets, maximum weight limits for certain rides, new waivers to be drawn up, no fast rides unless advanced... all which seems pretty reasonable. Everything Australia already implements, no doubt.

In terms of rides, it was a slow day. No cruise ship rides - not to say there were no cruise ships, there are cruise ships every day but we don't have contracts with all of them. I actually thought this would be the first day I worked without going on one ride, but then a sunset ride booked in and I was scheduled for it since J had been asked to work his Tuesday off while I held onto mine. Yay for that!

Before my ride, however, I went to get the cows and horses in and used Chico, my little 3-year-old. It was the first time I used him for that particular exercise, not something every horse can do, but he was so well behaved! I felt like a proud mother, beaming at his maturity. Needs a little work when chasing the horses back in, but all in all, much better than I thought it would go. The first time I tried, he started acting up the first corner we came to.

The sunset ride was 4 people, a family of 3 and a woman travelling alone. She had her first sip of alcohol in 16 years, although it wasn't really a sip, it was half a bottle of champagne and she got quite talkative by the end of it. The family was American, I'm pretty sure the son was gay but the parents seemed unperturbed by that (the world may finally be catching on) and happily snapped away photos of him posing on rocks. Maybe they just didn't realise.

At the end of it all, the husband got off his horse and pretty much took the saddle with him - next time I will insist of helping everyone off! These people... can't do anything themselves! But no harm, no foul, and everyone seemed happy with the ride. The solo woman, a Canadian, was a return customer and couldn't stop raving about the place - but for the second time gave no tip. She'd just finished telling us about all the things she'd done on the holiday... maybe that's where all her cash went. The Americans tipped of course and so thankfully I walked away with SOMETHING in my pocket for the day.

There's gon be some changes 'round here...

Of course, today would be the day I have to start extra early, as in when the day is yet to shed its first light. And I was still without bulb in my bedroom. Dammit. Sometimes working the hours I do is so inconvenient to my life! So I felt my way to get ready by the light of my laptop and headed in for a busy day.

To make matters worse, the shops weren't opening because it was Sunday so I was going to come home to another night in the dark. I really need new Crocs, too, since mine have worn through and the thorns are finding it way too easy to get caught in the sole. But I was determined to get back on the tip train, so I flexed my knuckles and stared down the barrel of the tourist gun. Give me what you got, baby.

I had 4 rides in total, and even managed to get some tips (albeit just $5) from an English couple - that's almost like getting $20 from an American couple! Mostly beginners, my guests all seemed to love the ride and it was all I could do to forget the horrible experience from the day before.

Had a ridiculously scared man with his girlfriend, early 30s I think, on the same ride as 2 local kids (not scared an inch, might I add). His girlfriend couldn't believe how he reacted to the riding, really freaking out on a horse that was quite quiet - actually, the same horse the guy fell off the day before! I was leading a 6-year-old but thought at one point, maybe I should swap the lead rope for the 30-year-old!

Needless to say, he didn't go into the water. In fact, he got off the horse quick smart and went to the bar for a beer. Walking down, the girlfriend said she loved the ride and apologised for her partner - he was really a douche. Didn't expect any tips, but of course that's when you get them, so it was a nice surprise to have him hand me $20 at the end of it all!

My day ended with 4 girls from all corners of the world - New Zealand, Finland, America - that were working on a super yacht. They were disappointed I was not gonna budge from the walking-only pace, which I told them before we even left, giving them the option of paying more for the ride that I was actually allowed to go faster with them... of course that suggestion was met with silence.

It wouldn't have annoyed me so much, but considering the events of recent days, I got quite agitated at their disappointment. If you wanna go fast, book the fast ride. If you are too cheap to do that, don't try it on me to break the rules and risk my job and your safety. "We can ride" - no, you could not. "My horse won't go" - that's because you're not kicking it. Fools.

And so it was that we walked. Even for advanced riders, the views we have on our rides are unparalleled and the weather is gorgeous. Most people have never been in the water with a horse either, so that's always a treat. So I think I gave them something to remember. Although I wasn't expecting a tip, as none of the other super yacht crew rides I've done had garnered any. I said as much to J as we unsaddled and packed up for the day - apparently not too loud, as I came down to the girls still sitting in the beach hut waiting for their cab, and one came over to tip me. Woot!

I was pretty tired this day, having used all my days off to party with E, and I wasn't looking forward to possibly changing my day off day to Wednesday instead of Tuesday. I still had Monday to go, so I didn't know yet, but I was crossing every limb that I got Tuesday off still. Was going to go to Anguilla but just need a sleep-in, time to wash my clothes, to surf the net... Man, I'm getting tired just thinking about it!

Hurricane Erm leaves St Maarten

I kept my eyes closed but I was awake. I could hear E shuffling around, organising her things and trying not to wake me. "Put the light on, I'm awake". I got up when she was ready and walked her to the road to get her safely in a taxi. She had plenty of time at the airport so I was happy. She gets so stressed at the airport. Then again, so do most people so I can't really blame her. Airports are my least favourite part of travelling.

When I got home, it was still dark. I went to put on the light and bam! It blew. Signifying the end of Hurricane Erm. The end of an era. And the light goes out in my heart. Since I was already awake, I thought I'd do some washing - it had been piling up since E got here - but I did it on autopilot. Man, I was tired.

Work was better since the sun decided to show its face, and hooray I finally started getting tips! This girl's gonna eat tonight! Also someone had installed the hot water system for the shower and I got a hot shower for the first time since moving here. Don't think there's actually a valve to turn the hot up or down, though, so depending where you shower in the daily queue, you could be burnt from the heat or still freezing in the cold. So actually I'm not that excited about the new shower.

On my lunch break, I checked my Facebook and already had a message from E. She was about to board the second of her 3 flights, in Miami to Los Angeles, so at least she was on her way. Still a way to go, though.

A woman came to look at a private horse for sale today. Ended up being the owner of a small stable on Anguilla, the nearby English colony I was planning on visiting sometime soon. She said whenever I decided to come, I was welcome to ride for free with her as she never really gets experienced people to ride with. She does it on a beach, too, so it sounds lovely. Can't wait!

Then came THE FALL.

It was the worst experience I'd ever had as a horse guide, and I felt so bad for inflicting it on my bosses. I had a private ride with 5 people, who said they could ride but were not that great, and within the first canter the biggest man in the group fell off. His saddle slipped for some reason, even though I checked it, and he came down as the horse slowed. Landed on his arm I think and got all huffy n embarrassed cos he actually felt pain. And man no feel pain. Grrr.

I had offered them helmets but they refused, and now he was all hurt. Not on the head, though, granted. I apologised profusely, trying to offer a reason for the mishap and STUPIDLY admitting it all as my fault because the saddle must have not been tight enuf. Stupid stupid me. That came back to haunt me later.

He walked off and the others collectively decided they weren't feeling safe enuf to continue. I walked them back to the stable and the man was sitting there rubbing his arm, couldn't even look me in the eye. I heard one of them ask him if he needed an X-ray and he must have said yes because they walked away to the office and demanded either an ambulance or a lift to the hospital.

Then came the drama. He's crying like a little bitch in the hospital (this a man of stature and plenty muscle), with a neck brace and arm sling, complaining of whiplash although the X-ray came out with no broken bones. Phew! They demand we cover the $700 the X-ray cost and probably "loss of enjoyment of vacation" or some shit. Bloody Americans. Let me guess, you'll claim everything through your own travel insurance as well??

When all the regular work was done for the day, us guides were pulled into a meeting to discuss what happened and that there would be a chance in policy from now on. I just felt horrible and wanted to go home. Couldn't stop beating myself up about it and just wanted to crumble into a million pieces.

When, finally, the meeting finished I was about to scoot away but they called me in separately. Told me not to stress about it, these things happen to every guide in the history of horseriding (even the boss) and that I shouldn't feel bad about it. It was then I finally succumbed and a few tears slipped out. I'd tried so hard not to cry, but seems I really am human! Times like these I really miss A. He'd know how to make me feel better. But at that moment, I just had myself to rely on - but since that's been the case most my life, it wasn't too difficult to get through it alone. Tomorrow is another day.

Back to... no tips? Grrr.

Back in St Maarten and back to work. And man, I needed it, after spending spending spending my way into 2012. To be fair, I was quite good with my money and come out with a few hundred to spare, even enuf to buy my boy a new camera and send it back with E.

What I didn't count on the next morning was rain. My first thought: shit, no rides, no tips. And that was how it went. J and I worked all day and it wasn't until the afternoon I got a ride. Man, that day was boring! And to make it worse, it was residents so they didn't tip a thing. I often wonder if these people think we're on some mega good salary, or if they are themselves, or if they would get pissed off if I got a service off them and didn't tip them. But it amazes me how no residents ever seem to tip.

It was T, the Dutch intern's last day before his 2 weeks holiday and then home, so I took him and R, the office manager for a brief ride. Neither could ride very well, but T just hangs on, so he was fine when we went faster. R, on the other hand, was a little stiffer and rode English so had much less to hold onto and plop! Off she came. At first I was worried then she got off, brushed herself and said, "Well, my brother always says you're not a rider til you fall off!" Phew! At least she was still smiling.

The best part of my day was going home with E and seeing that she'd spent the whole morning cleaning my bedroom and packing, and it was spotless. Finally! She'd also finally gotten into Philipsburg after every bus and taxi seemed to pass her by, and bought a camera for A.

I'd clued up T that E thought he was a bit cute, and he was keen as for a bit of Aussie lovin' so invited us out to his final night dinner at Peg Leg's Steakhouse. With 3 more workmates in tow, we waited for To pick us up in his friend's car. Up he pulled, cranking the Eurotrash dance music and waving his arm out the window as every Dutch person seems to do, cling wrap holding the passenger side window of the car together. Pure class.

At Peg Leg's, everyone decided to make it a massive debate about whether to eat there or not, and we eventually settled on going for "one drink" and some appetisers at Peg Leg's since T had a voucher to use. Well, we got on the Cafe Petrons and before we knew it, the bill was over $200 and we'd drunk ourselves silly and even eaten dinner. The other 3 workmates were not so keen, going to Burger King for dinner and coming back n forth, undecided about staying with these 3 white drunks.

There was talk of going to Soggy Dollar, a cheesy club favoured by Dutch interns, but I wasn't into it. I was more than happy to leave E and T to enjoy their last moments in St Maarten together. And I doubt either would have complained at my decision. I had to work the next day (as appealing as work was to me at this point) and I thought they might get jiggy wit it anyway.

Got home and didn't really sleep all that well. Was worried E would come home too late for her flight, even though I KNEW she would never miss it. But I couldn't help worrying, and it was hot anyway so hard to sleep. But sure enuf, she came in about 4am, and got about an hour sleep before getting up to ready herself for her flight home. Sad times.

That's not a knife... THIS is a knife

And so it was that our time in St Thomas was coming to an end. We'd had a ball, as I knew we would in each other's company (we're just that great) and also with the kind hospitality of L and B.

I slept in a little more than normal, I guess, but was still up way before E. Tried to sunbake on the banana lounges by the pool at L's, but the weather wasn't being too kind. It was very cute, though, when I heard a scuttle scuttle and saw the dog, usually very reserved with strangers, had stuffed herself under my chair rather awkwardly with her ass poking out at the side. Cute!

The first drops of rain fell and E emerged from her slumber. We debated food options - delivery pizza, going into town, big greasy breakfast - then realised it was not even 10am so not much would be open, and really, pizza for breakfast? Even I would poo-poo that.

It was a ghost town at the bottom of the hill. Not even Pizza Hut was open yet (yep, we actually tried). There was one place with no menu and pretty much no food, then we happened upon a bar just opening. I ordered a pile of grease with some BBQ sauce on the side, and E a "Big Kahuna Burger" complete with chips (of the crisps variety) and absolutely no sauce. Shittiest meal ever.

Back to the house it was to do a bit of a clean up and watch some satellite TV. I have enjoyed not having a TV in St Maarten but on this day in St Thomas, I was glad. The weather was just balls.

Then we had to return the car, and I somehow navigated us back to L's work to meet her there. The guys at the rental place certainly liked the look of E and I, even asked us for a picture with them. "Sure, you have a camera?" "Uhh, no, but I can get one from home." "Don't worry about it then, guys." Ha! But it felt kinda good to have at least ONE guy try to pick us up on this godforsaken island!! Where are all the prying eyes, I ask???

We stopped by one of B's takeaway restaurants, Texas BBQ Pit, to get an assortment of BBQ goods for a late lunch/early dinner. Man, it tasted good! Even for E, the vegetarian/pescetarian/sometimes carnivore. She was tuckin' into those ribs like there was no tomorrow!

Then it was off to the airport, where we arrived way too early and had plenty of time to kill once we checked in. So L drove us to Tickles, a bar nearby, for some beers. Had some more of the local brew, quite nice actually, tucked into 2 bowls of free popcorn (fatty fat fatty!!) and then we headed back to the airport. Liat was again running late so we had plenty of time. Luckily.

We put our bags through security screening and voila! What do they find in my carry-on?? My pocket knife! Now I carry this around because I work with horses, not for any dodgy reason. But it had gone through St Maarten security no problems, so I never even realised I still had it in my bag. The guys told me I could just check it in - easier said than done.

The women at the counter refused to do it, spending way more time arguing with me about there being no more time than actually getting it done, and in the end the kind security guy had to come over with me to explain it could actually still be checked in, even if he had to walk the damn thing over to the plane himself. And so it was checked in.

E gets a little stressed in airports so had been a bit worried when we didn't walk into the waiting lounge together. And she was probably wondering what was taking me so long to come through now. Security and I thought we'd take advantage of this. I waited inside while 2 of them came out, gloves n all, and told E I would not be making the flight due to the knife found in my bag. She looked at them, asking if they were serious. They gravely asked her if she wanted to still take the flight or wait there with me. Then they burst into a fit of giggles and told her they were kidding. Priceless!

The short plane ride was uneventful, except for the prying eyes of some cute little black kids next to us who were not yet at the age of knowing staring is rude (actually, most of the guys in St Maarten never seem to get taught that either).

Back "home", we caught a pimpin' taxi playing some reggae concert with Damien 'Dr Gong' Marley and his knee-length dreds (how would he take a shit with them??) and then went to Pineapple Pete's for some internet and more prying eyes. This time we paid the bill.

Stunning St Johns

So I woke E at 9am, as promised, actually right on the dot as I was awake plenty beforehand and basically twiddling my thumbs until the clock struck 9. We got on the move but were hankering for some good grub to kickstart the day, so we found the greasebowl that is Fishy Tails. Right next to the barge that would take us to St Johns, and not too long a dash in the POURING rain, so it looked good enuf.

Yes, it was raining. Hard. Possibly the worst day we could have chosen to go to St Johns but since we were leaving the following afternoon, we didn't really have a choice. Breakfast was a huge affair, our meals being better suited cut into 3 and served for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But anyone that knows me knows I don't like leaving anything on my plate, so in it went - crossiant (normal), bacon, scrambled eggs, cheese, greeeeeease. We took photos to prove its massiveness.

We waddled out of the restaurant and the rain had thankfully eased - was that a slice of blue I saw in the sky?? - and got on the barge. Wasn't too expensive considering it included our fare as well. A short while later and we were there - St Johns, another US Virgin Island but especially untainted as 75% of it remained national park. But there were still tourists.

With the rain nipping at our heels, we found the animal shop owned by 2 gay guys obsessed with finding the latest "Chewy Vuitton" toys or dog-carrying dogs to pick up something for L's Rhodesian Ridgeback Babe (dog knows what a dog like THAT could want from in there) then had a starter drink at a nearby bar with a cute bartender (naturally we were pulled there by some crazy magnetic force). I knew we'd end up back there for Happy Hour.

The weather really didn't improve, but we made the most of it by driving little Suzi around about... not being that big, we kinda circled the island before we knew it then thought we should look at some of these famous stunning beaches. Well, yes, they were stunning. And swimming somewhere you can look back onto the shore to see just palm trees and forest behind is somewhat unique in today's world.

Cinnamon Bay was a highlight, we got there just as the sun was shining its last rays and the rain clouds descended from the other side of the sky. A beautiful picture. Then it was bay after bay, just a shame not really the weather to enjoy them. Really glad we had a car.

Bailed for the Barefoot Cowboy, a bar we purely went into to escape the rain (and cold) and also because it sounded intriguing. Turned out to be a bit of a Southern American dive that served meat, meat or meat if we were hungry and "a great kind of rum punch" if we were thirsty. One drink and we were out of there. No interest even in tonight's band. Probably the Redneck Hooligans.

Took another drive around hoping for somewhere else to drink by the beach, but they don't really have those places in St Johns, so we found ourselves back at the cute bartender bar, much busier during Happy Hour. We asked what the Happy Hour deal was - everything for $3. Including shots of Cafe Petron ($85 a bottle in Oz)? Why, of course! Bring it on.

So we ended up slamming several cocktails and Cafe Petrons, and then I had to navigate back to the dock (just around the corner) and then BACK the car onto the fast-filling barge. Eek! Managed without a problem, and even had a nice conversation with the barge operator about Rastafarianism.

E spent most the ride back on the phone to her mum, worrying as always, and I tried to straighten up. Probably shouldn't have gone so hard on the drinks but now I had to get back home regardless - just breathe. We seemed to drive forever but eventually found our way home. L called and suggested we meet at the local down the road for dinner. I suggested she pick us up. So we made our way to Sibs in her car.

Our waitress was a bitch but we found it entertaining. Stuffed our faces with portions again too big for us, even though I just had a chicken caesar salad - gotta love American culture - and plenty of drinks. Well lubricated, we decided to give ourselves a sleep in the next day. Our final day in St Thomas.