Hurricane Erm leaves St Maarten

I kept my eyes closed but I was awake. I could hear E shuffling around, organising her things and trying not to wake me. "Put the light on, I'm awake". I got up when she was ready and walked her to the road to get her safely in a taxi. She had plenty of time at the airport so I was happy. She gets so stressed at the airport. Then again, so do most people so I can't really blame her. Airports are my least favourite part of travelling.

When I got home, it was still dark. I went to put on the light and bam! It blew. Signifying the end of Hurricane Erm. The end of an era. And the light goes out in my heart. Since I was already awake, I thought I'd do some washing - it had been piling up since E got here - but I did it on autopilot. Man, I was tired.

Work was better since the sun decided to show its face, and hooray I finally started getting tips! This girl's gonna eat tonight! Also someone had installed the hot water system for the shower and I got a hot shower for the first time since moving here. Don't think there's actually a valve to turn the hot up or down, though, so depending where you shower in the daily queue, you could be burnt from the heat or still freezing in the cold. So actually I'm not that excited about the new shower.

On my lunch break, I checked my Facebook and already had a message from E. She was about to board the second of her 3 flights, in Miami to Los Angeles, so at least she was on her way. Still a way to go, though.

A woman came to look at a private horse for sale today. Ended up being the owner of a small stable on Anguilla, the nearby English colony I was planning on visiting sometime soon. She said whenever I decided to come, I was welcome to ride for free with her as she never really gets experienced people to ride with. She does it on a beach, too, so it sounds lovely. Can't wait!

Then came THE FALL.

It was the worst experience I'd ever had as a horse guide, and I felt so bad for inflicting it on my bosses. I had a private ride with 5 people, who said they could ride but were not that great, and within the first canter the biggest man in the group fell off. His saddle slipped for some reason, even though I checked it, and he came down as the horse slowed. Landed on his arm I think and got all huffy n embarrassed cos he actually felt pain. And man no feel pain. Grrr.

I had offered them helmets but they refused, and now he was all hurt. Not on the head, though, granted. I apologised profusely, trying to offer a reason for the mishap and STUPIDLY admitting it all as my fault because the saddle must have not been tight enuf. Stupid stupid me. That came back to haunt me later.

He walked off and the others collectively decided they weren't feeling safe enuf to continue. I walked them back to the stable and the man was sitting there rubbing his arm, couldn't even look me in the eye. I heard one of them ask him if he needed an X-ray and he must have said yes because they walked away to the office and demanded either an ambulance or a lift to the hospital.

Then came the drama. He's crying like a little bitch in the hospital (this a man of stature and plenty muscle), with a neck brace and arm sling, complaining of whiplash although the X-ray came out with no broken bones. Phew! They demand we cover the $700 the X-ray cost and probably "loss of enjoyment of vacation" or some shit. Bloody Americans. Let me guess, you'll claim everything through your own travel insurance as well??

When all the regular work was done for the day, us guides were pulled into a meeting to discuss what happened and that there would be a chance in policy from now on. I just felt horrible and wanted to go home. Couldn't stop beating myself up about it and just wanted to crumble into a million pieces.

When, finally, the meeting finished I was about to scoot away but they called me in separately. Told me not to stress about it, these things happen to every guide in the history of horseriding (even the boss) and that I shouldn't feel bad about it. It was then I finally succumbed and a few tears slipped out. I'd tried so hard not to cry, but seems I really am human! Times like these I really miss A. He'd know how to make me feel better. But at that moment, I just had myself to rely on - but since that's been the case most my life, it wasn't too difficult to get through it alone. Tomorrow is another day.

The bag.

Rides were not plentiful today, and as a result neither were the tips. We were all but done with them by 2pm (my private ride was a no-show, so I just did one ride in the end) so it turned out to be the perfect day to take E out for a horseride (on the house, of course). Had planned it to be a picture perfect sunset adventure, but of course things never turn out the way you want, right?

I kept getting called about paying the bill at the Sports Bar - I'm coming, alright?! Some of us have to work to make a living. Speaking of, work was not too bad as my body had recuperated a little. Maybe it was getting used to drinking and going to bed later again. I had become quite the nana, it's true.

During lunch, I called A but had to cut it short as I realised it would be a good time to check on E. She hadn't come down as promised and I wanted to see she was OK and not sleeping through the day. I knew she had to get a new camera (hers broke so we were totally without photo-making apparatus!) and do a couple of things, and the hours were ticking away. I also knew she was still jetlagged so it's understandable she would be kipping a bit more. A wasn't happy I had to go pretty much when I called but I suppose I didn't think before I dialled.

We organised to meet at my work by 5pm to go for the ride, so I was all done n dusted then and ready to show E my office! I chose a horse called Tia Maria as she liked the name, warning her that she liked to go go go, but she seemed fine with that. Didn't plan on racing around anyway, maybe just a trot or two. I was wearing my shorts too, so it wasn't that comfortable to go fast.

The rain at the beginning should have been the first omen. We had to mount under the stable so it was dry, and Tia was already on the go as she was keen to get back before we started to munch on her waiting dinner. I bought a few beers from the bar and put them in a bag.

The bag.

Sometimes I forget my horse is still so young. I had to do training with the sunset ride bag (a fluro green thing that must look like a monster to her) and now she's fine with it, but this NEW bag. Not so fine. I was cradling it so she couldn't see, but the beers were jingling about against the ice, and as we went for a little run he started FREAKING OUT. The more he bounced around, the more the bag clanged, and before I knew it he was in the air. I would have stayed on, had he landed properly, but he didn't and as he came down so did I. Luckily I have experience with falling (just a little!) so I rolled to the side, clipped my foot on the stirrup and didn't break one beer. Success.

E, meanwhile, had raced ahead on Tia, who also freaked out when my horse did. She yelled out for me, not realising I was on the ground at that point (well, standing up already!) and I told her to pull back. She did and Tia stopped, no dramas, and E jumped off to hold Tia so I could put the bag down and catch Chico again. Sigh.

We were right by the sunset point so we tied them up and cracked the beer. E pulled out her brand spanker of a camera, and we started snapping. Then we saw the photos weren't coming up, and tried to figure out the problem. Frustrated and worried we'd missed the beautiful sunset for this stupid camera, we put took a couple of pics on the internal memory and set about enjoying the view.

It was a nice sunset, with some boats passing by and of course the floating suburbs (cruise ships) rolling by in all different directions, lighting up spectacularly as the sun faded. We had our beers, some nice conversation, Tia got tangled in her bridle and broke it (typical) and then we set off again in the dark, guided by the stars and the buzzing fireflies.

Tia was a little funny about riding at night, so I got in front and we took a nice stroll down the garden path (so easy to do with ERM), but then saw a flash and heard a bang. The horses' ears pricked forward and I thought, oh shit, someone's shooting out there. Then I realised it was fireworks (worst display ever, though, probably just some kid letting them off) and we turned back. No way we were getting freaked out again!

We made it back safe n sound, although I was pretty pissed off with myself for letting the ride go so badly. I know better than to give Tia to a less experienced person, didn't really think about how she reacts to things especially at night, and to carry an unknown "bag" on Chico... well, it was just irresponsible for me. I know I'm the one who came off, not E, but I still wanted it to be perfect and it wasn't. And I blame myself. But I will get over it.

We got home and freshened up, then went to the Sports Bar to pay last night's bill and eat some dinner. I got the salmon lasagna, something A told me not to get previously because it would be dry - and what do you know, it was dry! Had to try it though. When we left, we made sure to PAY, and then headed back.

On the way home, I got extremely lethargic and could hardly keep my eyes open or think straight. I just wanted to get to bed, but things kept preventing it... and so eventually I just collapsed and was about to nod off when the phone rang. It was A again, but I was too tired to talk and had to make it brief. Then Le rang about the Jamaican party - not a chance! I was out.

After a kinda restless sleep in my new bed in Colonia Suiza, Uruguay, I woke late morning to all the other girls checking out and heading towards Montevideo. Glad to have just the animals and M as company, I bid them farewell and tucked into the 2nd anti-contamination stab at my hair. I would like to think it´s working but who knows...

Nestling down with my Dan Brown book, I was interrupted almost immediately by a curious cat and dog, who clambered all over my line of sight and nudged me incessantly until I gave in and patted them. Well, it didn´t take long, they were so damned cute. Ahh, I miss animals...

So the only thing on my agenda, now I had washed my hair, was to go riding with M on his Criollo horses - a typical breed for Argentina that are not too tall, sturdy, stocky and good for endurance, similar to Icelandic ponies I guess. I was explained about each one...now this is the calm one, this is the good one but she is a bit lame atm, and this one here, she´s crazy. Do you want to ride the crazy one?

I guess all my talk about my experience on horseback had led him to believe I could handle anything, and I suppose by this stage I like to think that is mostly true. At least I no longer let myself refuse a ride, even if it is a bit bonkers. So after a quick jot around the paddock bareback on the partially lame one to test her foot, then another quick lap with the crazy one (they all had hard Indian names I can´t remember) that was anything but quiet, and I made the snap decision, fuck it let´s take this one out on the open road. Haha...oh dear.

So the horse liked to run. No problem. After our first gallop, I was exhilerated, and M outstounded. He started gabbering on about how good a rider I was, and I was slightly miffed about why he thought I was so good... until he told me I ride like a gaucho, lounging deep into the saddle at full gallop - and this horse GALLOPED like all hell had broken loose. Wow. I love it.

Next gallop was a little less successful...after seeing the main highway looming ahead, I was pulling her back and we came across some bumpy land, I lost a stirrup and therefore my sense of balance, and meanwhile she saw some friends across the dirt road we were on and broke to the right straight into the fence. It was at this point I chose to sacrifice myself, breaking my fall on the fence before sliding into the grass and rolling away from the massive beast about to descend on me from above. Gracefully, the horse also saw me and veered away, avoiding me with her hooves. Like all good horses should.

M was understandably concerned, not knowing what the hell had gone on in the 5 mins since he was proclaiming my brilliance as a rider. I got up quickly and walked over, ensuring him I was totally fine and by this time in my life I am an expert faller, and we sat for a bit in the countryside next to the oldest cheese-makers in the town. It is so beautiful there, quite similar to Australia in landscape (except greener), with hardly any cars and such beautiful weather.

After the ride, which was longer than anticipated, we relaxed with dinner, a bottle of red and eventually, a joint, which was unexpected but nice. I was the only guest there that night so I guess he felt a little more at ease. Funnily, one of the girls staying earlier had asked me if I had any so obviously the same courtesy had not extended to her during her stay. I guess this little rasta woman has that effect on some people...

All in all, a fantastic day with fantastic company...despite my niggling feeling of uneasiness sitting by the fire drinking wine stoned with a really nice (and not that old) Uruguian man... maybe my female paranoia getting the best of me... who knows. But he was nice and didn´t do anything wrong, really, so I shouldn´t be feeling that. He told me I was a nice girl and the best rider he´d had in the year they´d been operating, so that is a good thing at least!

Extreme sledding - one way to learn!

The funnest part of my day came at the very end, when we were just about to retire to bed. A worker from the factory at the farm (it makes elastics) came with his girlfriend to check on some pipes and then asked us three if we wanted to come sledding. "Now?? Are you serious?" Was my reaction - it being about 8:30pm n all.

They said sure, let's go, so we pulled out the ancient sleds from the barn and trudged up the hill out the back. Turns out this property goes a fair way back there. The snow reflected a good deal of light but it was a pretty cloudy night, so the moon wasn't giving us much help. Probably a good thing that I didn't see the bumps n lumps anyway - blind ignorance is best sometimes.

As most Australians would agree, I have no experience whatsoever with sledding (except maybe down a mud hill or a plastic waterslide in the backyard when I was 5), so I just basically got on and went for it. I did one decent run, but the others were pretty dismal. I was ass over tits for the good majority of it all. I expect some tasty bruises in the next few days. But that was still pretty damn entertaining!!

The American girls were also equally as uncoordinated, although we did get a couple of good runs in. I was soaked through my 3 pairs of pants and gloves but it was so much fun. Except at the end when we kinda broke one of the sleds. Oops. I hope G doesn't get angry because I think they're quite old... Damn my fat ass!

Everything else went great, considering it was the first day G was away having her operation and there were no hiccups. One of the ladies from the factory came to help with the camels, she spoke no English but I managed to communicate enough with her. She was only needed here half an hour so that was good - even then it was just a couple of camels that she really needed to be there to help with. I got this.

First snow ride!!

So I had my first horseriding experience in the pouring snow yesterday and it was something else. One one hand, it was surreal because the snow had turned the place into a virtual ghost town, everything was white and I was rding bareback with just a sheepskin blanket to prevent the icicles on the horse´s fur from freezing my ass off.

On the other hand... the sensation of the ice-cold snow cutting into my face meant that at one point I could barely move my mouth to talk to G´s daughter L, I had stupidly forgotten to wear another layer under my jodphurs so my legs were also now frozen and my horse June couldn´t keep up with the Icelandic ponies´ brisk walk so we were constantly jogging - not a good idea given the fluffy sweet-as-pie snow actually masked a layer of slippery ice underneath. So we fell. Numerous times. Once to the knees. I stayed on but every fall made the young one even more nervous so that was a great feeling. Imagine the horse bolting into pure whiteness, no idea what´s underneath... eek.

Anyway, I am glad I did but I am not rushing out to do it every day - at least next time I will wear more clothes on the bottom half. I already look like a sumo wrestler up top. But fuck it, I´d rather have a fat suit on than freeze my tits off. Those things are valuable ;)

Horse stumbles, she stumbles...

Today was the most hellish yet here. So far I've enjoyed a pretty good run of 'work', doing things I wouldn't consider work and enjoying a kinda relaxed lifestyle surrounded by horses and dogs.

This morning I got to breakfast to find the poor family cat, at 18 years of age, has finally been attacked by the dogs (the young ones though, no respect) and has been fighting for her life all day. She's still hanging in there and can now move her back legs slightly but isn't eating so I don't know how well she'll do in the coming days :(

The dogs were being general pests today, doing everything they weren't supposed to and attacking more than usual. I was exhausted by the time I was asked to help with getting grass so you can imagine how much I jumped for joy when we had to do it in the searing heat. There's just something magical about having no hands to swipe away biting insects while a pitchfork of grass and nettles hangs precariously above your head as you try to throw it on the trailer... isn't there?

So then there was more hay in the field to collect, which I successfully dodged because I couldn't find anything to help with (fell asleep in the front seat of the car, bet the others loved me) and then to put in the shed. I am SICK of hay. I hate it. I hate the sight of it, I hate the smell of it, I hate the feel of it, I HATE IT. And I am now going to write an email to the next people I'm going to asking if I'm going to have ANYTHING to do with hay. Otherwise I'm not going.

So we finally left for a ride about 6 or 7pm and only got back about 10:20pm, we rode back in the dark but luckily the mozzies were too bad. I took my hair out so I had a fly swatter and that seemed to help. Oh, and I fell off again today but it was pretty funny. My horse (still in training) stumbled up a hill onto its front legs and I thought it was gonna go down completely so I just let myself roll off into the grass. Didn't hurt at the time but my wrist is a little sore and I think I'll have a bruise on my thigh. What a douche :P

And she stacks it...right on her face, face, fac, fa, ffff, ff, f....

Sometimes, when life permits you a brief concession in which to think about your actions to avert crisis, you are forced to make an executive decision. How that decision is carried out, however, is entirely up to the world around you.

Yesterday, in those extra 2 seconds I was given, I made a decision. As I hung sideways from my horse that had just spooked at one of the farm dogs bounding out from a higher bank of grass, I debated which part of my body I wanted to crash-land on. Definitely not my head. That was for sure. Preferably not my shoulder. And not my back. So I'll go for the upper chest area, somewhere cosy like my boob.

As I flung myself from the saddle I made sure I was free from the stirrups so as not to be dragged along by said spooked horse. Tick. Next, my ideal crash-landing position. What I hadn't made room for was my face. And that was exactly what broke my fall. Not quite as elegant and carefree as one may have wanted it to be, but also not quite as painful as it sounds. The grass was kind to me. I just hope the nearby farm hands didn't see me. Embarro.

Now that I have imparted that particular piece of 'J Gone Wild' to humour you for the while, as I'm sure you all miss my company terribly, I'll give a wrap-up of the last few days since my last post.

There was a tiny field mouse scurrying around the living room. H said to let it be and nature would take its course. It did, 2 days later. I found it dead under one of our dinner chairs. The dogs. Aww.

I helped H worm the dogs yesterday, my many years of training with Miffy, Angie and any other dog someone wrangled me into worming flooded back. To the Swedish girls, I was a pro. Yep.

Today we went for an unintentionally long ride in the morning, over 4 hours, and I believe I'm now well acquainted with my limit for one horseride. Yes, indeedy. On top of the fact every part of my body ached and there was no alternative position I could find for my legs on the saddle to rest them, something I ate that morning or last night in Faragas at the pizza place was not going down so well. It was terrible. I was trying to canter home to get there faster but every motion was sending me further into uncomfortable sickness.

Once back, with L leading her horse due to her own sore ass, I clipped my horse in, took off the bridle, threw it down and made for the toilet. The girls thankfully unsaddled my horse on my behalf. After a rest, I'm feeling much better but I tell you, it's a short ride we've planned for this afternoon.

Flies keep fucking all around me. Must be fly mating season. Do they even have a mating season??