Hurricane Erm leaves St Maarten

I kept my eyes closed but I was awake. I could hear E shuffling around, organising her things and trying not to wake me. "Put the light on, I'm awake". I got up when she was ready and walked her to the road to get her safely in a taxi. She had plenty of time at the airport so I was happy. She gets so stressed at the airport. Then again, so do most people so I can't really blame her. Airports are my least favourite part of travelling.

When I got home, it was still dark. I went to put on the light and bam! It blew. Signifying the end of Hurricane Erm. The end of an era. And the light goes out in my heart. Since I was already awake, I thought I'd do some washing - it had been piling up since E got here - but I did it on autopilot. Man, I was tired.

Work was better since the sun decided to show its face, and hooray I finally started getting tips! This girl's gonna eat tonight! Also someone had installed the hot water system for the shower and I got a hot shower for the first time since moving here. Don't think there's actually a valve to turn the hot up or down, though, so depending where you shower in the daily queue, you could be burnt from the heat or still freezing in the cold. So actually I'm not that excited about the new shower.

On my lunch break, I checked my Facebook and already had a message from E. She was about to board the second of her 3 flights, in Miami to Los Angeles, so at least she was on her way. Still a way to go, though.

A woman came to look at a private horse for sale today. Ended up being the owner of a small stable on Anguilla, the nearby English colony I was planning on visiting sometime soon. She said whenever I decided to come, I was welcome to ride for free with her as she never really gets experienced people to ride with. She does it on a beach, too, so it sounds lovely. Can't wait!

Then came THE FALL.

It was the worst experience I'd ever had as a horse guide, and I felt so bad for inflicting it on my bosses. I had a private ride with 5 people, who said they could ride but were not that great, and within the first canter the biggest man in the group fell off. His saddle slipped for some reason, even though I checked it, and he came down as the horse slowed. Landed on his arm I think and got all huffy n embarrassed cos he actually felt pain. And man no feel pain. Grrr.

I had offered them helmets but they refused, and now he was all hurt. Not on the head, though, granted. I apologised profusely, trying to offer a reason for the mishap and STUPIDLY admitting it all as my fault because the saddle must have not been tight enuf. Stupid stupid me. That came back to haunt me later.

He walked off and the others collectively decided they weren't feeling safe enuf to continue. I walked them back to the stable and the man was sitting there rubbing his arm, couldn't even look me in the eye. I heard one of them ask him if he needed an X-ray and he must have said yes because they walked away to the office and demanded either an ambulance or a lift to the hospital.

Then came the drama. He's crying like a little bitch in the hospital (this a man of stature and plenty muscle), with a neck brace and arm sling, complaining of whiplash although the X-ray came out with no broken bones. Phew! They demand we cover the $700 the X-ray cost and probably "loss of enjoyment of vacation" or some shit. Bloody Americans. Let me guess, you'll claim everything through your own travel insurance as well??

When all the regular work was done for the day, us guides were pulled into a meeting to discuss what happened and that there would be a chance in policy from now on. I just felt horrible and wanted to go home. Couldn't stop beating myself up about it and just wanted to crumble into a million pieces.

When, finally, the meeting finished I was about to scoot away but they called me in separately. Told me not to stress about it, these things happen to every guide in the history of horseriding (even the boss) and that I shouldn't feel bad about it. It was then I finally succumbed and a few tears slipped out. I'd tried so hard not to cry, but seems I really am human! Times like these I really miss A. He'd know how to make me feel better. But at that moment, I just had myself to rely on - but since that's been the case most my life, it wasn't too difficult to get through it alone. Tomorrow is another day.