Random assault in La Paz

Saturday woke me with the beat of a thousand drums (probably just 1 but multiplied in my hungover head), fresh from the streets of La Paz´s annual fiesta. Don`t ask me what it is about, all I know is that they closed down the main streets, dressed up in tiny dresses (for the girls) and crazy space cowboy outfits with bells on the boots (for the boys) and paraded down the street, drinking and singing until late into the night.

This, of course, would have been a brilliant tourist experience for us (the group staying at M´s consisting of myself, English R and Dutch S) had we not been feeling extremely sorry for ourselves after last night`s efforts. Somehow, and I can`t remember exactly because this part of the day was a daze, we collected a couple of the other guys along the way and we all went to see the parade in the street.

To view the parade from a seat, you had to pay. So clearly there was none of that for us. Instead, we walked down as PART of the parade (which was allowed), keeping to one side of the street while passing cops who clearly weren`t doing anything there except checking out the girls in short dresses.

Eventually, we got to the end of the parade where there was a park basically outfitted for the locals to get even more drunk and dance to some marching bands. It was an awesome sight, all the cholitas in their best cholita dresses, sparkles and bright colours everywhere, everyone in good spirits.

Well, that was the daytime.

Night soon engulfed the celebrations and I - even thought feeling much better after a short siesta - was in no mood to deal with drunkards, in a club or on the street. As it turns out, however, I had to in the end. After just one alcoholic drink at Oliver´s, I called it a night and on the walk back to the hostel - less than 3 BLOCKS from the bar - I felt an eery sense of danger around me. Of course, my women instincts were correct and no sooner had I felt that was I tackled around the head by a random guy and my hair pulled from its bunch. I screamed and fought him off, succeeding in getting him away while he just shoved his hands in his pockets and walked off like nothing had happened.

At first I thought he was distracting me to rob me, which would have been shit considering I had JUST visited the bank, but when I got back to the hostel I found I had everything still in my bag. Hmm... so he was just a random weirdo wanting to head-tackle a random gringo in the street. Nicely done. Good work, chap. Hope you enjoy telling all your mates about thiat one.

So now I am OVER risking myself in La Paz. I am booking gringo tours and I am not feeling bad about it. I want safety. They can all get FUCKED if my last 10 days in South America are fraught with danger. I am coming home alive!