Pick my pockets bare

We had some spare time before heading to Playa Del Carmen, so it was suggested we go to check out the souvenir shops and make the most out of a less touristy city. T and I went to explore with some others, trying to find these markets J told us about - with no luck, T and I broke off so I could find a post office. I made sure to always have my hand on my bag and the zip done up. Shortly after, I went to lend T some cash and found my wallet was gone - A-FUCKING-GAIN. Awesome work there, sneaky fingered Mexicans. I don't even know how it happened, the fucking prick, I swear when I took a swig of my bloody water or something. Argh.

I went to an internet cafe and the lady let me use her computer for free to try and cancel my cards. But of course I was out of Skype credit, and when I tried to top up, oh they needed my card details. Then I tried to transfer T some cash but of course, they needed to send me an SMS code to the mobile I'd had stolen. Life was hopeless. So I gave up and met the others at the hotel, where a staff member collect called my bank and I was able to cancel my cards and order $1000 emergency cash. A nifty little service I didn't even know existed.

It was a 5-hour drive to Playa, which was welcome since I wanted another sleep. Everyone was waiting for me, some with sorry looks on their faces for my misfortune. Others, with slightly green looks on their faces from oncoming sickness. And we hadn't even started driving yet.

We had checked into our hotel, a last-minute change since the original (and much nicer looking) hotel was having renovations and was too noisy. We had a cute little apartment situation which we weren't going to take advantage of since we were out n about eating on the tour company's tab. I had to nip off from J's tour of town to sort out my money situation. What I did see of the strip in Playa was pretty cool - obviously mega touristy with vendors yelling "hey lady hey lady" (my favourite) "you want to look, I have good prices for you, Cuban cigar??" And it went on... A different vibe to Cancun, kinda more compact, and full of good-looking tanned bodies.

Thankfully, the robbery happened just before I got to Cuba, not IN Cuba, so I was able to get money from Western Union. But that was a whole 'nother mission in itself, in Playa del Carmen. Had to run to get there in time, only to not be able to find the actual Western Union, then finding out it was actually just at the supermarket check-out. Thoroughly confused, I stood there as the manager lady ran about gathering $100 here, $100 there, so she could make up the huge amount I was taking from her. Another bloody rich tourist, she probably thought. I made sure to get a cab back to the hotel and hid the cash in several places in my luggage.

Then it was dinner time, on the strip so lots of people-watching. This is where the music began. The first, of many many times, I was to hear "La la la la la la bamba!" Oh, save me. They wander around wanting tips - sometimes it's fun but it gets old fast. Especially when they come, one after another, all through pre-drinks, during dinner and into after-drinks. Give me strength. Tour from the tour company, T, M and I felt like a boogie, and were trying to decide the best way to go, and somehow it all ended up in a gay club.

We stopped off to get some of T's hair braided, then went in the back door (ha!). Considering it was mid-week, the place was empty but the tunes were pumping. Same old shit as Global, same old shit as every other pub, but you really just have to embrace it. It's there, so just deal with it. Throw your hands in the air and fukn never forget YOU'RE ON FUKN HOLIDAYS!!! I befriended the best gay Mexicans ever, with matching black tank tops and, you guessed it, MOUSTACHES!!

We spent the best part of the night gawking at the hot bar guy who insisted he was straight, in between staring at himself in the mirrored bar, before figuring that if we were gonna do body shots anywhere, it'd be here. Up we went onto the bar, tequila in mouth, lemon on stomach. I think that's how it goes, anyway. Good enough. Photo proof. A taste of my old wild days. Just a taste.

After a good ol' knees up, we headed back to the hotel and did a bit of creative swimwear (or lack thereof) in the pool. Figured with whale sharking (swimming not harpooning) the next morning, I should head to bed. Got to my room and yelled out from the balcony that they were being super noisy and the it was travelling up to the top levels, they didn't understand it was me and hushed their tones, thinking they were in trouble. Too funny. Sleep time.

Wait - aren`t you gay??

Saturday night. Boat party time.

I escaped the house as quick as possible this day, scouring the streets for an internet cafe as my host had turned into a big, bad mood bear and I was getting the distinct impression my time there had run out. So, even though I planned to stay just 2 more days in Rio, I just could not picture facing another day there. At the internet cafe I wrote a message to D, who I had met on the CS hike up the mountain the other day, and who`d said I could crash at his if things got too much at the apartment. He replied straight away saying it was fine, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

However, I couldn`t move that day because I had the boat party to go to after all! And I knew it would be a rather large night so I wouldn`t really even be sleeping in the house, just getting back at god knows when, packing my shit and leaving.

I walked to the marina for the boat party and sweated about 10kgs in the damp air. Oh man, it was hot!! So hard to look nice when you`re dripping with sweat!! But anyway... before long I had made new friends and had a few drinks bought for me. Not as many as last time, and I didn`t get on the boat for free this time (but got a discount cos I know the organiser) so I didn`t really get drunk. But that was OK. No dramas.

The boat ride was really nice, as it was last time. We drifted around the harbour, which is framed by mountains - most of which had halos of cloud, and at one point it pissed down with rain so we retreated under cover but kept dancing. The crowd was different to last time, not as crazy (I guess Carnaval is over!) and my friends that organise it said it was mostly a birthday party, and those people were a bit boring and complained about the music, being seasick, et al... And didn`t buy me many drinks. So they lost points for that.

I found out where a few of them were going afterwards, but ended up staying with the organisers (a really nice couple I met last boat party through my little posse of Brazilian beauties) and going to a gay club with them. We faffed around for what seemed like forever (but doing some important errands (particularly for South America... I, uh, hear coke is about AUD$9 for 2g) so didn`t end up actually getting into the club until after 2am... but we got in for free so I guess it wasn`t all bad haha

The strangest thing happened at the club, though... besides being pickpocketed of course. That ain`t strange for Rio! Only lost a bit of cash but it was still annoying. Anyway, the strangest thing happened... all these gay guys were grabbing me and kissing me! Gay guys! Say whhaaaa?? I went to the club thinking I would not get harrassed but it was almost worse than normal! And none of them can kiss well! What`s the deal?? But man, they had good bodies... Sweet Jesus.

Had we been wearing socks, we would`ve danced them off at this club. Good times. But then I could see V and J were fading, and I knew it was time to vamos. Got driven to my door by J because I needed to grab some cash from the house to pay him back for the drinks he bought for me in the club post-pickpocket incident. He didn`t have much change so I ended up more out of pocket than I had hoped but that`s life I guess.

When I got into the house, I laid down on the mattress and closed my eyes. And willed myself to sleep. Somehow, I managed a few hours. Then it was time to go to my new host!